Cardiologist; little brother is moving back

Today I take Sara to the cardiologist for her irregular heartbeat. I am PMS'ing and it is one of those crybaby months so I am trying not to get too worked up. I will let y'all know what he says. Our appointment is at 2:00.

I got news that my little brother Kyle is moving down from Montana. I haven't seen him since TC was a baby.

Kyle is 10 years my junior. He is my Mom's "miracle baby" because after she had me she had her tubes tied. Whne she remarried she decied to have them untied and she had 2 miscarriages before she had him. He was so fat and sweet and I remember he used to water the yard in his diaper and it would practically sag to the ground and he would cry when we turned the water off.
He loved the outdoors and always got brown as a little Mexican. He still loves to be outside and is an avid fisherman. He lives in Montana and it is beautiful there! Plenty of places to fish.

In Kyle's teen years, my oldest sister Ginger (aka EVIL ONE) influenced Kyle a lot and he would go to her house and get high. He was in trouble as a teen but never anything serious and he managed to stay out of jail by the grace of God.

He reconnected with his Dad when he was 18 and he moved to Monahans Tx to work the oil rigs. After a long shift, he was in the truck with his crew and the driver fell asleep. The truck flipped 4 times. Kyle was asleep in the back but was thrown through the windshield which broke his face and his back.

My best friend called me because she worked the wreck. She told me Kyle may not live. They care-flighted him to Lubbock where he stayed in intensive care for weeks. He had his whole face operated on and his jaw was wired shut.

Kyle has always been tall and thin but at 6' 5" he lost down to 140 pounds and when he got out of the hospital I went to Oklahoma to help my Mom with him. He got out of the car and looked like the living dead. His pants kept falling down. His entire jaw had been broken and his teeth were all loose. He could not eat. He had a hole in his throat from the trachiotomy.

He gave my Mom hell. I went and spent $100 on juice and soft foods. All Kyle wanted to do was gripe and say he wished he could die. Oh yeah, and he wanted us to take him to his friends so he could party.

After I left, he ended up leaving my Mom's because she could not deal with him, he was an asshole! He was mad about his face (he DID look different) and he was only 18, and a very IMMATURE 18 at that. Emotionally he could not deal.

He did not follow through and do what he was supposed to do with his medical issues. He lost his workman's comp. He finally moved to Montana where he ended up going to jail, and eventually prison.

He was in prison for over 2 years and when he was released he did well for awhile but ended up back in trouble. He got out of prison earlier this year. I guess he has finally decided to grow up because he is clean and sober. He will be staying with my older brother Dean, who has lined up a job for him.

I am excited to see Kyle, it has been so long. He is a lot like me, a loud mouth but crazy and we have always gotten along really well!

OMG

Do I ever post here anymore?
I guess only when I want to bitch about my husband.

Have you ever watched that show "Hoarders"? That show is a hot mess. Can you imagine living with thousands of pounds of trash all around you?? UGH. That show makes me want to go scrub something. And you KNOW those houses stink. Ewwwww.

Things are really going good at my house. I have tried to think before I speak and hold myself accountable for my actions but I let hubs know I am not taking any shit from him neither. Some days I imagine what it would be like if I were single. But then I think I would probably have to work 2 or 3 jobs and Sara would be raising TC, and how fair is that??? So I am trying and making an effort and so is he.

Marriage is hard as hell. Hubs and I both had rocky upbringings and not the best role models when it came to relationships. We are trying but dysfunction creeps in a lot. I realize it too. So I guess that is a good thing because I want to change it.

SEX

Tomorrow my sister and her family are coming over to open gifts.
Which means I have to clean house and buy groceries (I do this every Sat or Friday anyways) and run around like crazy tomorrow morning.
They are coming over around lunchtime.

Hubs is mad because he wants sex 24/7 and mentioned getting some in the morning. I told him "How in the world am I going to get all my stuff done PLUS give it up all by 11:00?"

Besides that, I don't want to have to shower before my sister comes over.
I bathe at night.
I don't want to be all YUCKY because I had sex.
I always have to shower after sex.
Do you??
I don't think men realize that sex is really messy for us.
Sex is good, don't get me wrong, but I have other things on my mind other than f#*!*#g everyday, all day.

Topsy turvy

I hate it when we fight like that.

We are still tiptoeing around one another. And the hurtful things that he said are still there.
Of course I love him and Of course he is sorry.

I am trying to work on how I react to things and instead of flying off the handle and screaming and yelling, acting like an adult instead. Speaking in a calmer tone and not acting like a lunatic.

It is not all him, but it is not all me either.

I don't want my kids to have parents that are divorced. I went through that, my Mom married 3 men when I was growing up.

I also know from reading my bible that my background does not determine my destiny.

I have issues, he is perfect

Okay I was hoping for a relaxing weekend.
I think someone is out to get me for real.

My husband woke up bitching yesterday.
He says he is the most pleasant person to be around.

So. Not. True.
Well, I told him we are all sick of him waking up an bitching.
He lays in bed til' noon and then gets pissy if we are cooking something and don't come ask him if he is hungry.

Hell, he was in bed.
We thought he was asleep!

So we got into it and he proceeded to tell me how he is sick of me running my mouth and how I always try to put him in his place.

What ever.

Later on, I was doing some homework and he said, "Oh this house is DIRTY. Sara needs to clean it tomorrow."

Which pissed me off!

I got up this morning, was in the kitchen cooking breakfast and here he comes.

Hubs: Oh, those pork chops are not ready yet, let them get brown before you flip them over.
Me: Mmmhmmm

I cooked and then left his stuff on the counter.
Sara went and told him his food was ready.

After we all ate, I said, "We ALL are cleaning today, that includes the kids, me and YOU hubs."
(I got a crazy look)
I told him, "Hey you can make the bed while Sara works on her room and I do the livingroom and kitchen."

So Sara, TC and I are working away and I realize the heat is on.
WTF?
So I turn the heat off. We are sweating bullets!
Here comes Hubs cranking the heat up.
Hubs: Who keeps turning the heat off?
Me: I do! It is hot as hell in here.
Hubs: Well, I am trying to warm it up so I can take a shower.

I go into the bedroom and realize he never made the bed, he never did anything!
He took a shit for 30 minutes and then he decided to shower.
I was fucking pissed.

I went in the bathroom and told him that I am pretty sick and tired of him making his little shitty comments but never ever ever helping me out around here.
And it is not Sara's job to clean the house when 4 of us live here, hell I already get up at 4:30 every morning! WTF??

He gets out of the shower PISSED OFF. He starts screaming at me and then he punches the closet door. Which REALLY pissed me off.
I hit him in his chest and told him he is not tearing my house up.

That Mother fucker.
I was mad!

He says he is sick of my mouth and how I make his life hell and he doesn't want to live this way and he is leaving.
So I told him to go ahead and pack his shit but he needs to take a little bit of responsibility for his actions and choices.

Yes, I can be an asshole.
But my God!
He works 3 or 4 days a week, if he is not sick (He missed 2 days last week). And then he comes home and lays his ass in the bed and shits and eats and wants to fuck.

And in the meantime, I am running around here cleaning, cooking, laundrying, taking care of kids, going to school, working on WORK from home.
Come on!!
Who wouldn't get sick of it??

I told him that if he is so miserable to leave but he needs to think real long and hard because if he leaves, the door will not be open whenever he feels like he wants to come back.
He has 2 kids who he will see on the weekend and I will be the one raising them full time.
So if I suck so bad, maybe he should leave. But stop threatening me that you are leaving.
Think about it Mister.

And he said that he doesn't have any problems, it is me and my big mouth. And if I would learn to keep it shut, everything would be dandy.

Oh, sure, I am the ONLY one in this marriage who takes ownership of their issues.
I suggested counseling and he said that the man up above can fix any and all of our problems.
I told him ,"Do you not think I pray everyday? I pray for God to give me strength to be the best Mom and wife I can be. But he cannot fix someone who does not think they have any faults."

I am so glad he is perfect and I am the one who is fucked up.

F Bomb, be prepared!

So I took Sara to the dr. yesterday. I will blog about it in my Living in Tx blog.
But oh. my. god.
I was already having a bad morning this morning.

I am tired as hell first of all.
I have been 1/2 way sick all week with my ears.

TC fell last week and hurt his knee.
Sara fainted this week.
Hubs came home with food poisoning yesterday.

REALLY?
Can something else happen to send me over the edge?

Oh, yes it can!
Because I have a teen.
Who leaves her purse laying around and this morning she tells me she can't find her money.
And she needs money for lunch because she has another field trip today.

(I had $4 in my purse so that is what she got)
But I was MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD.
Me:"Where is the $10 you had?"
Sara: I don't know
Me: What do you mean you don't know
Sara: Well, it WAS in my purse now I can't find it
Me: What the hell, Sara?
Sara: Well, I might have put it in my jewelry box
Me: FUCK
Sara: Well, I'm not sure if I put it there
Me: Did you leave your purse unattended again?
Sara: No
Sara: Well.............. I did yesterday, I left it in the classroom
Me: WTF?

And yes, I was cursing a lot.
I am about to have to pay $80 for a MP3 player that she took to school (not hers, my niece's) and she left it in her purse at dance and now it is GONE
So, last year someone stole her phone
This year it has been money TWICE and an MP3 player
Holy fucking shit
Are you kidding me?

So, we went back home and the money IS NOT in her jewelry box.
Hubby was in bed sick and I told him that I wanted to whoop her ass.
For real.
And not STOP whooping her ass.
But I didn't, I took her to school and then I drove to work and cried the whole way.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Bad blogger

Everytime I get a post together in my head, I never come on here and post it.
I am getting ready for Christmas....are you ready?

I am taking tomorrow off because my ear is killing me and TC did something to his leg at school and he is limping but has progressively gotten better this weekend.

Not a lot is going on otherwise.

Guess I'd better hit the sack!

STRESS

Wow, it has been quite a week at work. Customers have been crazy because they all want free products and they want us to make them over and over again.

This is the time of year when the moochbags come out.
UGH.

Pray for me. I might lose my mind.
I am working our online site from home a lot.
Which is good because I need the money.
I am considering cutting off my home phone and getting my internet thru Dish.
It may save me around $50 a month and I need to save where I can.

After I paid bills and got groceries this week, I had $6 left in my checking account.
It is kind of depressing!

I have started taking a stand and doing some things on my own and I now tell my husband if he doesn't like it he can just get the hell over it.
But that I am not fighting with him over decisions I make and he should try to support me more instead of trying to sabotage my plans all the time. Because I love him but it is not all about him 24/7.
I think he is in shock!

Party and stuff

Well, the kids birthday party went well.
My mother in law called as I was trying to get things ready and she wanted to know what time the party started.
Hubs had already told her because I was sitting there when he did.

Me: I know Tony told you the party starts at 11:30
MIL: He said noon
Me: No I was right there, he told you 11:30, besides you need to ask me, I plan all of the parties!
MIL: Well, the hay man is here and I can't get there by 11:30
Me: Alright then. I'll see you when you get here.

Stupid heifer.

Then, we got the party started! Had chili dogs, cake, ice cream. Opened gifts.
And my Husband went outside and missed the gift opening.
And then wanted to bitch at me for "not coming to find him."
I told him I was putting a birthday party on and that it wasn't my fault he went outside.

Dumb ass.

After the party, we opened Christmas with my Mom.
And Sara got birthday money and she wanted to go shopping.
I was tooooo exhausted for shopping so I offered to take my nephew Jr. and TC to Mcdonalds' to play while my Mom, sis, and niece went shopping.
Well, needless to say, they were gone for HOURS and by the time we got back from McD's, TC was so tired and had began acting out in a BAD way. Jr. was not a problem, it was TC. So I called my Mom and asked were they almost done?? She said they had gone to Dallas.

I was not happy.
When they finally came home, I told my sister that she should have told me they were going all the way to Dallas.
She got mad and left in a huff.

Later on Facebook, she messaged me and said that she spent so much on gas by driving to Dallas. And how Sara didn't want to pay for her food, so my Mom did.
I didn't even feed into her b.s. and if my Mom wanted to buy Sara's food, big freaking deal!! How is that my sister's business at all?
And if she didn't want to go to Dallas, she should not have gone. Give me a fucking break.

Other than that b.s., everything else was good!

Emotional

Yesterday I called Hubs as I left work to make sure he got gas for the lawnmower. I told him I wanted to mow but could he cook dinner?
He sort of balked and I asked Sara to cook and she said she didn't feel like it.
So it pissed me off.
And I began to fuss and fuss and fuss some more.
Turns out Hubs wanted to mow, but his back is giving him fits this week and I don't want him to mow and upset his back issues even more!

I went straight in the door and put my mowing clothes on and went outside to mow. I didn't say a word to anybody.

I was so pissed.

I started to mow and I ended up getting stuck in the mud.
Which pissed me off even more.

My neighbor eventually drove up and he helped me get unstuck. Because Hubs and the rest of the family were inside, and since we have 4 acres I was on the far side and nobody saw me.

After I mowed for about an hour, I went inside to take a shower, still emotional and still a little pissed.

Hubs came into the bathroom and asked me what was my problem and I told him, "I am just PMS'ing" and can you please just leave me alone?

After he took a shower, he came into the room and was kissing me and then I just broke down crying.

UGH.
PMS SUCKS ASS.

I am trying

Gosh, I haven't posted on here in awhile. Is nobody blogging or reading blogs anymore??? I myself do a lot of browsing but not a lot of commenting.

So we got our new bed and we like it!!
I started 2 new classes, one is Science and Nutrition and I have to log what I eat. OY!!
I am trying to eat better.
I just had a cucumber for snack.

I brought tuna fish for lunch, with an apple and granola bar. I drink 2 to 3 bottles of water a day. I have been walking daily for 3 weeks now. I also brought celery sticks with low fat peanut butter for an "after walk" snack. I tend to get hungry about 3:00 pm.

I just want to feel better and be here for my kids and I am not looking for a huge weight loss. I know I will eat things I shouldn't but I can make small changes and try to do better!!!

So that is what is going on with me. I have noticed my attitude is improved too.

Update

Update on the husband thing:

I came home yesterday and after I had a bath, he wanted some nookie.
I told him it will probably be awhile before I am ready to have sex.
I am still hurt over the things he said.

He said, "You said some hateful things to me Kristi."
And I said, "I was only telling you how I felt. I don't want to keep doing this with you over and over. It is wearing me out."

Josie, (sophie), I thought about what you said, but I haven't made that list yet. The thing is, I know my husband loves me and I know I love him.

But like I told him, "You have a lot of insecurities and I can't fix you. I can't."
Well, I guess he really got to thinking about some things because he woke me up at midnight and wanted to talk.
(I was not happy about this!!)
But he said he is worried that one day he is going to come home and I won't be there.

I told him that I am coming to him to try and work things out and I am not giving up on our marriage, but some things need to change.
I mentioned how he always wants me to change who I am, be less LOUD and not yell so much. But he doesn't want to do the things to help me have less stress in my life.
I have made it easy for him.
I handle my business, I am independent to a fault.
I will NOT ask anybody for help EVER.

I told him I watched my Mom be with sorry ass men, one being my stepdad Richard, who she followed around like a puppy.
She let my stepdad bring us to Dallas and we had nothing.
We had nowhere to go.
We were homeless.

I refuse to be that way.
I will have my life, my independence and I don't have to ask him for permission about what friends I can have.
I am coming home to him and the kids and I live for them.
But I also have to have some part of me feeling alive and excited about new things (i.e., school).
Just because I am married does not mean I am not an individual.
I refuse to lose myself in a man.

It is my responsibility to teach my daughter a different way, different than what I was taught.

So I guess things are better. But I am simply exhausted. Relationships are so much work!

Marriage vent, feel free to skip

My 401 K loan FINALLY came on Saturday.

I drove to my work to wait on it. But hubs called me twice being a DICK ( he kept saying they had lied to me and it wasn't coming and why did I have to drive to my job and on and on and on), so I just left. As soon as I got into our town, my coworker called and said it was here. I went ahead and drove home, everybody got ready and we came BACK to my job to pick up the check.

We took the kids to Wally World and then to lunch. At the chinese place where we ate, hubs made a comment about how polite the little waitress was, how nice and quiet. So much unlike me. (this is how he would LIKE me to be)

We came home and I started working on a homework assignment.

Hubs went to the bedroom to watch a movie.
Sara sat on the couch watching tv and TC asked her for a bowl for his chips.
She continued to ignore him, and she didn't know I KNEW because I had earphones in. But I heard him ask her 4 times and she ignored him.
Finally I turned around and screamed, "SARA! Get him a bowl PLEASE!! Jeez, he asked you no less than 4 times and you ignored him."

You would think hubs would come out but he stayed in the room for over two hours and ignored my outburst.

When he finally came out, he made a nasty comment that he is tired of my school stressing me out so much and why couldn't I just CALM DOWN?? And I was pissed off at his comment.

Let me say I am not one of those nagging wives who asks him to help around the house. Typically he does not help and I have realized he won't ever help me like I feel he should...so why bring it up and fight about it?? And no, he rarely does the outside work such as mowing, etc.. I do that too!
N-E ways, we had it OUT.
The kids were outside. They did not hear it.

But I told him since he is constantly saying how I should change, then maybe he should not be with me, just divorce my ass. Maybe he should pack his crap and leave. I am who I am.

I feel I have changed a lot in this marriage. I don't drink, I don't go out, all I ever do is have lunch occasionally with a girlfriend. I take control of the household bills, chores, anything to do with the kids. I do it all. And I don't bitch about it. But I am tired of him saying how I should be a certain way. How I should not yell, or raise my voice, or be more quiet in public.

I know how to act in public. I am not one of those white trash acting women who acts like everybody should hear EVERYTHING she says. I know how to act.

Do I lose my cool sometimes? Hell yeah.
Am I perfect? Hell no.

But my family is my world and I do get tired of reassuring him about my love, loyalty, etc. I have done this for 15 years and I am tired.
Tired I tell ya.

He did not leave.
But we really didn't talk much after that.
Sunday I got up and went to Sonic to get lunch.
Then I came home, ate, and left to buy groceries. I asked him did he want to go and he said, "do you want me to go?"
I asked again, "Do you want to go?"
And he said, "I guess not."

I came home and finished an assignment and then took the kids to the park.
He stayed in the bed all day long.

I came home from the park and we talked. I told him we are so different. I love to be around people, I love taking the kids to places. I want to live life, not stay holed up in the bedroom 24/7.
We are trying to work it out but I am just TIRED AS HELL and I feel as if this marriage is becoming a broken record.

My husband and his crazy ideas

Well, since Billy's passing, a lot of things have been going wrong.
Financially we needed some cash and FAST.
I decided to take a 401 K loan out.
It works.

I pay the money back with my paycheck and I have done loans before.

So my husband, being the greedy ass that he is, has already decided he is joining the gym.
With some of the 401 K money.

Mind you, we have a treadmill at home.
We have 4 acres of land, a basketball goal, pool...plenty of ways to get exercise.
None of which he takes advantage of.

I mentioned that I have been walking on my break at work and now all of a sudden, he wants to join the gym.

What the fuck ever.

We need to fix our road, my car has some front end thing going on, we need to catch up on a few bills, we plan on buying a new bed, and birthdays and Christmas are coming up.

And no, I am not spending all of the money. It is only a few thousand, and it will go fast.
I plan on socking back some of it. Being a homeowner, I know that things can go wrong and I don't want to be flat busted if things DO go wrong.

I told him we can pay for one month and I will see how many times he goes to the damn gym. I bet he goes about 3 times, IF that many. Just like with anything new, he will like it for about 5 minutes, then throw it down and walk away.

Bitch

So yeah, I mentioned that I was talking to my sister again.

Well, this college algebra is kicking my ass.
So my niece was over here one day and she said, "oh Aunt Kris, I have a calculator that figures all that for me."
I told my sister that my niece told me about this calculator.
My sister said she had to buy my niece a new one.
Then she found her old one.
So she has 2 calculators.
My sister said, "Anytime you need to borrow it, let me know."
And I said, "I may want to use it to do my final, it is in a few weeks."
And she said, "no problem!"

So tonight, I called her and said, "I am so glad you are letting me use that calculator, I am so stressed about algebra."
And she replied,"Well, yeah, you can use it, but don't leave it down for anybody to tear it up."

I was like "Huh?? What do you mean?"
And she said, "Oh, well, please take care of it because it was expensive. Don't let your kids tear it up."

WHAT
The
HELL?

I told her, "Well, never mind. I can figure it out on my own, after all I am in week 7 of a 9 week class."

BITCH FROM HELL.

I just got quiet after that and she said she had to go.

But I am pissed.
I mean, SERIOUSLY??

And I think the problem is that she wanted me to buy one of the calculators from her but I won't because I am almost done with my class and why should I BUY a calculator from her when my niece has 2 of them???

And I am pissed that she insinuated that TC was going to break the damn calculator. TC is not destructive.
Oh am I ever pissed.
I feel like I have been slapped in the face.

Cheater cheater pumpkin eater

I love Facebook.

I have reconnected with some old friends.
One of the friends I knew back in high school. I have talked to her a few times since we moved into our new house.
The thing is, before Hubs and I got together, I dated her brother.
And her brother was an asshole. He cheated on me and things did not end well.
I started dating the hubs and I kicked the ex (Matt) to the curb.

N-E ways, I got in contact with this old friend and I told her I will be off next week and that we should have lunch. Let me say that we NEVER talk about her brother Matt...NEVER. She never mentions his name and neither do I.

I just told Hubs about my friends and my lunch plans. And he flipped the hell out. He didn't like the idea of me hanging out with my exes sister. I was like, "Hubs, we have been married 15 years. That guy treated me like shit. Why would I even think about talking to him, much less doing anything else?"

OMG.

I told Hubs that I understand where he is coming from but that I don't have any intentions of talking about the ex or doing anything shady.

Hell, if I was, I wouldn't have told Hubs about my lunch plans at all. I might be a lot of things but I am honest and I don't lie about my intentions. EVER.

We all have a past. When you live in a small town, usually you will have exes in that town. He says he trusts me and that it is not about me, but if he trusts me, why would he even go there??

Opinions???

Hubs and other junk

Gosh, since I posted last, I had an anniversary. 15 yrs. with my hubby. I like him again this week, I told him I will excuse his crazy ass behavior from when Billy was in the hospital and the funeral and all that stuff.
But if he acts a fool again, I am kicking his ass for real!!

Today is Friday..woot!!

Found out that a friend of mine is going to take her baby to Mexico in a couple of months..her baby is 4 months old now. CRAZY MUCH???

I am tired of people on Facebook. They only comment when they want to say shitty things, or leave you advice that you don't ask for.
After all the family drama with Billy's funeral, Tony's aunt Wanda took me off her friends. Alrighty then!! SHE is the one who showed out at the funeral but she is mad at me?? What ever.

My sister has already been to the school twice over my nephew. The first time was because he fumbled the ball in football and some kids called him fumble fingers. She went and told the coaches that he was being teased.
WTF??
I am sure they laughed her out of there!

Then, my nephew was absent and my sister said he didn't get his study guide back to study for a test. Which he failed. So he got a 69 in that class for the 6 weeks. Which means he won't be eligible for football.
My sister emailed the teacher several UGLY e mails. Then she got the principal involved. They let him correct the test so he is now passing.

She got mad at me because I said, "Monica, you can't fight his battles for him his entire life!" He is in Junior High now!!
She said she and the principal got into a screaming match.

LOVELY.

Nobody is perfect

I am not going to post about my husband today.
We have all established he can be an ass.

My sister is talking to me again. One good thing about all of this happening with Billy is that she opened her eyes and saw that regardless of the stuff she read in my TX blog, I am the one who has been here for her for many years.

No relationship is perfect.
No marriage is perfect either.
If people say they have the perfect marriage, they are lying.

Marriage takes work.
Friendships take work.
And that work should not be one-sided.

Pissed off

Sorry I haven't posted in so long.
All of this stuff with Billy has been so draining.
And my husband and I have gotten into two big fights.
One last week and one last night.
The one last night was over him not taking the trash out.
Stupid, I know.
But I am a smartass and he didn't like my comments.
Then he has to say stupid things like he is all alone.

Give me a fucking break.
What am I..chopped liver?
Am I not here everyday giving 110%?


I am tired.
Tired of being pulled in so many different directions.
I have reconnected with some old friends and I am going to start making it about me.
My family can be so selfish.

And no I am not PMS'ing. I am just PISSED.

Update on Billy

We went to see Tony's Uncle yesterday. He looked good, but is not waking up. The prognosis is that his brain is not functioning at all.

His Aunt (Billy's wife) will have to make a decision of when to pull the plug. She is getting all the family together and finding out how long it will take those who have to travel to get here. Pray for his family. This is really hard.

Death

9/9/09
They want my husband's uncles wife to pull the plug.
She refuses to do so.
My hubby is having such a hard time.
All I can do is wrap my arms around him.
And cry with him.

It is hard waiting.
It is hard not knowing if Billy will live or die.
And if he lives, how much of a life will he have?

He is only 56.
He is too young to die.

Things I love

I love:
sweet cornbread, hot from the oven covered in butter

my kid's laughter

cooking a good meal

a clean house

receiving letters from my nephew

hearing "I love you"

hugs

singing to kick ass music

getting a beautiful shirt for $6 on clearance

saving money

seeing old friends and catching up

getting older (yep I did say it!)

What do you love?

Little Ralphy

LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH (Part 1)
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Ralphy. He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then little RALPHY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.Which one is married?" The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone." To which Little RALPHY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on," but I like your thinking."

LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH (Part 2)
Little RALPHY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father? "The teacher asked 'How much is 2 x3,'" I said "6", replies RALPHY. "But that's right!" says his dad. "Yeah, but then she asked me "How much is 3x2?'" "What's the f...... difference?" asks the father. "That's what I said!"

LITTLE RALPHY ON ENGLISH
Little RALPHY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" RALPHY says "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little RALPHY, that's a mouthful." Little RALPHY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR
Little RALPHY was sitting in class one day.All of a sudden, he needed to go to the toilet.He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!" The teacher replied, 'Now, RALPH Y, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation.The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go." Little RALPHY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but ifyou had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"

LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR (Part 2)
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in t h e same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. "My mummy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully." She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly called on little RALPHY. "Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just f...... beautiful!'"

LITTLE RALPHY ON GETTING OLDER
Little RALPHY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat." Little RALPHY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old." The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?" Little RALPHY answered, "No, he minded his own f....... business. I LOVE Little RALPHY!!!!!

Letters

Sorry I haven't posted in a whole week!!!

I was going to post over the weekend but I was pretty sure you readers did not want to hear me bitch about my husband AGAIN.

So instead, I thought I would post a few letters.


DEAR DOCTOR,
I was really dreading my pap smear yesterday and I went home and washed my ass, my cooch and everything else. I even shaved!!! When I got to your office, people were griping about having to wait for a LOOOOONG time. Great. My appointment was for 4:45 and at 5:50 one of your nurses called me to the front asking, "Can you come back Thursday? We are running behind."
My answer, "Nope. Reschedule me for next month." Maybe you should talk to your office people about overscheduling and this won't happen again. GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH.

Signed,
Frustrated Patient


DEAR LITTLE BITCH AT MCDONALD'S DRIVE THRU,
I placed my order 2 times and you didn't hear that I wanted hashbrowns. So the third time I yelled it. I don't appreciate you getting all rude with me saying "Ma'am you don't have to get mad, someone else was talking to me and that is why I didn't hear you."
Fuck you.
And you had better be glad I really wanted my chicken biscuit or I would have just drove off.
Rude ass.

Signed,
Hungry customer who almost ripped your face off

DEAR COWORKER,
Every morning when I come in you always expect me to come into your office and say hello. You never extend the same courtesy. So if I came in today and didn't feel like walking into your office and saying good morning, just get over it. Because you really get on my nerves when I tease with you and you get cutthroat with me simply because you can't take a friggin' joke.

Signed,
Sometimes I just don't like you very much and you think because you are older it's okay to be a big bitch and it is NOT

DEAR TC,
I love you son. But get over yourself. The world does not revolve around you. And yes, you are cute, but that cute face can only get you so far. I got your number.

Signed,
Your Mom who loves you dearly but I am tired of you being an ass all the time!

Over it

So I am over being mad at my husband. I really do love his crazy ass but some days....oh I tell ya!

Today I took Sara to get her schedule. Luckily she does not need any shots. Apparently some kids need several, I think my nephew who will be in 7th grade, needed 3 shots. CRAZY!

So we get to the school and there is a note that you can meet the teachers tomorrow. WHAT THE HELL? I had to take off work to take her today and I am supposed to take off for meet the teacher? I don't think so.

I got up early and mowed for 2 hours today. I like to mow and talk to the Lord, listen to some music and reflect on a lot of things.

We got to Sara's school and who do I run into?? My freaking sister. The one who hates me because she read my blog. She sort of waved to me, I grabbed my nephew, gave him a hug and told him "Good Luck!" and then we left.

Good Lord.

And it is so freaking hot out there!!!

The fight

Yeah, the fight we had Saturday was really stupid. I wanted to go see The Time Traveler's Wife with Sara,and we agreed that Hubs would take TC to see GI JOE. So when our local movie theater didn't have the Time Traveler's Wife on their automated movie line I had to change plans. I told Hubs, "I really don't want to go see a kid movie. I guess I can just wait or maybe see something else."

I guess this pissed him off because he said, "Well, you don't want to see a kid movie, but I have to take Tony Carl to see a kid movie."

I said, "How is GI JOE a kid movie? It has fighting, shooting, etc....and you said before that you wanted to see it. What the hell?"

And he kept going on and on and on until it escalated into one big ass fight.

I had just came back from the grocery store, dollar store, and Ace Hardware and all of them were still in bed. So I was pissed that I did all this and then came home to get bitched at over a movie! Hubs had just woken up as I came home and it was after 10.

I told Hubs that he could just go see District 9, since he had been talking about it and since he didn't want to go see GI JOE and I could just take the kids to the park or something, because really, I can go see a movie whenever, but I don't want my kids to be disappointed.

He kept acting a damn fool.

I sat on the couch and was crying because by this time the kids were awake and hearing the whole argument. Hubs continued to scream that I wasn't "getting his point."

Hubs had been cooking some pasta and Alfredo sauce with hamburger meat. During the fight, I looked in the pan and noticed he had put crushed red pepper in the meat. I said, "Why would you do that? I told you the last time it made me very sick!"

His reply,"Well, it is good, you'll be okay. Without it, the food would be bland."

Oh you KNOW I was calling him some names under my breath.

I was so pissed off.

I went ahead and ate later on, once I calmed down, but I was having severe stomach cramps after eating. And explosive poops.

WHAT A FUCKER.

Bad morning

I brought my Living in TX blog back. I deleted out a lot of the old posts but I missed it so I brought it back.

At first I felt bad about some of the things I said but I am not feeling bad anymore.

Had a bad argument with the Hubs today. It all started over going to see a movie. REALLY STUPID.

We haven't fought like that in awhile and it really takes a toll. I cried that horrible (from the gut) cry. I feel exhausted. We were yelling...I hate for my kids to hear that.

Tired, Sara helping out

My kids were up LATE last night. Hubs is off today so no doubt they are all sleeping in. I am so jealous. I was up at 5:30 sweeping and mopping and watching Real Housewives of Atlanta. I am tired. I haven't slept well all week because TC has kept me up with his eczema and last night they were slamming the door in the bathroom which woke me up.

I left the kitchen for them to clean up today. I clean the kitchen usually twice a day and this morning I didn't feel like it.

Sara was a sweetheart and did a lot of laundry for me yesterday. Even though I do a load or two a day, between swimming, and bathing, we had tons of other clothes dirty. Sara is making some extra money for taking care of TC two days this week and the extra stuff I have asked her to do. She got another new cell yesterday, it was a virgi#n mobi*le and it was $15. I am paying her $67 more when I get paid next week. She thinks she is rich!!

Thoughts

My husband has panic attacks. He hates being in a room full of people. We are so opposite, I feel right at home in a crowd.

He thinks I was wrong to put stuff in my blog about my sister for the "whole world" to see. I think that if I don't blog I will surely lose my mind.

What can you do to change a situation if you have apologized and the person refuses to talk to you?

Nothing I suppose.

Back to work

I went back to work today. What a loooooooooooong day!! It took forever for 4:30 to get here.

I got to thinking about my sister today. Some days I miss talking to her. I am still angry that she snooped and found my blog. And I feel like she blew what I said out of proportion.

Maybe it is just hormones.

Our trip

So we ended up going to Durant Oklahoma to the Choctaw Resort. Hubs and I gambled a bit but I never go in there thinking I am going to win a ton. Which I didn't. And I only took $40, but I walked out with $28. I spent some of that on Sara a bracelet, hubs a ring, and myself a magnet with Choctaw Casino on it.

The kids and I loved the pool. In the top one, you can see a big ol' slide that TC and Sara went down eleventy billion times!! My Mom drove down and visited and we swam for a while. All in all it was a nice time and if we hadn't had to have a/c repairs (which we got SCREWED on) we could have stayed another night. Oh well, we still got to go and that is what matters.

TC keeps asking, "Can I go back to Hokahoma?" LOL

To Bina

Did you get my blog invite for my new blog??
I didn't actually delete my Living in TX blog, I just set it to where only I can read it.
I wanted to go back and see when I wrote that stuff about my sister. It was 9 damn months ago!

Send me your e mail if you didn't get the invite!

butterflylady97@yahoo.com

Love ya!!
Mean it!!

How

my sister Monica has read my autism blog for over a year. She never found my profile page and she never found my Living in TX blog. I mentioned on Facebook that I blogged about something at work so I guess she got nosey and dug til' she found it. She read it for over 3 hours without my knowledge. When I called her last night, she started screaming at me and told me she can't talk to me since I want to slap the shit out of her!

I have written things on there about her and it was a vent. I am like that, I get pissed, I vent, I get over it.

My fault for not making my TX blog private.

I apologized over and over and told her it was a private blog and that when I wrote those things, we were not getting along.

She says she feels betrayed and I am wrong for blogging about her to complete strangers and all of my blog friends called her crazy!

I asked would she rather me blog to people we know??

We were messaging on Facebook.

I apologized no less than 30 times and she won't talk to me and I understand she is hurt. But I can't do anything about it really.

I have to move on.

She put on her Facebook today that "she is sad because people choose not to have a relationship with the Lord."

I sent her a message and told her not to presume what my relationship with God is, that is between me and him!

You know I am sorry for saying some of the things I said, but I am not sorry because that is how I felt at the time. And if I did not blog, I would surely lose my damn mind.

My other blog

I have deleted my Living Life in Tx blog. My sister found it. Of course I said stuff about her and she was PISSED....not good. I never dreamed she would find it.

Rockin' blogger award and 10 things

Just Jen tagged me for this. She gave me an award too!
Thanks Jen.
I am supposed to list 10 things about myself that none of my readers know.

1. I fart A LOT.

2. I think I suffer from OCD, I hate it when things are on the floor. It drives me bonkers. I clean up the breakroom at work because stuff on the floors and counters bugs me.

3. Before I married Hubs, I drank every weekend. Now one drink knocks me on my ass.

4. I try to parent firm but understanding because I had the firm parenting growing up, but not the understanding one.

5. I am smart, but I have to work at it in college.

6. I can't stand when people ignore their kids. I know, we all do it at one time or another. But in public, when your kid is SCREAMING "Mom, Mom, Mom" eleventy billion times, answer the little bugger!

7. I get pissed when I see someone living in a nicer house, driving a nicer car, and wearing nicer clothes than me, with 4 or 5 kids and using food stamps. DAMN! I want free food too!! And I want to stay home and have a bunch of kids. (Not really, just sayin')

8. I hate when someone wears dirty shoes or when their kid does. I am not talking about a little dirt from the playground, I am talking about when white shoes are BLACK and nobody bothers to wash them off with a little windex or mean green and a paper towel.

9. I hate wiping. I think it is a disgusting human function, therefore I hate poop and pee. It is just gross. And periods, all that leaking. Eww...'nuf said.

10. I really can't deal with people sneaking up behind me. Due to something in my past, when this happens I get really, really mad and sometimes when it scares me, I cry.

That's it.

Since I only have 9 followers, feel free to do this one if you want.

PS My hubby found my living in tx blog. He was laughing his ass off and I went in the bedroom and he was reading it. I took my laptop away from him WITH THE QUICKNESS! Damn it!

Not a lot of new

A coworker told me about the show "The L Word" and I have been Netflixing it. OMG, it is really good! The storyline is really interesting!

I am going to try to dedicate most of my evenings to being outside with my kids. I have done well this week by scheduling homework ahead of time. Of course school starts on Aug. 24th and things will be different............but for now, that is my plan.

I hate it when people get the "big head" at work and start giving you work that they should be doing. That happened to me yesterday and it PISSED me off!

My husband is home sick today.............he breathed in some dust yesterday and he is "so sick and didn't sleep all night." Good God!

I have to work 6 days this week, but next week, we are going on a weekend trip. I can't wait!

Just UGH

If you read my other blog, you know about the drama with my mother. She called me the other night. She was talking about my older sister, GINGER and saying how she has not changed.

Well, DUH.

We talked for a little while and it was a little strange. We are not close like we used to be. Too much hurt has been inflicted. I protect myself now.

This morning TC was acting an ass, screaming for a certain BAKUGAN and I found it. Then he wanted his BAKUGAN cards and I found them, except he has 2 of one kind and he wanted BOTH of them...which I could not find. I was already running late. I didn't have enough patience for his antics.

We got in the car and he wanted his jacket. I said no which led to a meltdown. I finally got the damn jacket. I came back ENRAGED. I said, "TC why are you making my life a living hell?? Why do you ALWAYS do this?? I am so sick of it!!!"

My niece was with me and she was probably floored at my behavior.

To tell the truth, now that I think about it, I am very ashamed of how I acted. But GOD why can't we ever have a smooth morning without the fits, tantrums, and unnecessary drama??

I am so OVER autism. I wish I had a gun, I would shoot it. Or cut it's balls off.

Headaches and bathroom explosions

Today was AWFUL!! My head hurt the better part of the day. Finally, around 2:15 it stopped.
It was the type of headache that brings you to your knees, makes it hard to keep your eyes open, much less concentrate on what you are supposed to be doing.

I left work a little early because I needed to run a few errands. Had to go to drop a movie off, get some pool stuff, and go to Family Dollar.

I came home and Sara had started cooking and she had it all under control. So after we ate, I showed Hubs my Facebook page. Then I told him I needed to get in the pool and clean it. So we all went swimming, my niece was here too.

In the pool, my stomach was rumbling. And it wasn't a good rumble either. I only swam for like 30 minutes and I had to RUN in the house to avoid shitting all over myself. When I got to the bathroom, it wasn't nice. Hubs came in the house and started a shower.

In the shower, I told him to keep his body parts to himself because after that bathroom experience, I wanted to be left alone.

Gosh, what a day.

Blunt cards

What I want

I found another Pacifica I like! We are going next Friday to talk to the dealership. This one is in Kansas. That means it will have to be sent to Tx.

It has 3rd row seating too!!

Mine that I have now is similar but does not have the 3rd row of seats and mine has over 82,000 miles on it. But it is not paid for yet.

Cross your fingers!

If they can't get us the payments we need, we will just keep ours.

But isn't it purty??

I'm here

Not a lot to say but that I went shopping yesterday and spent $200 total.

Shhhhhh............don't tell my husband.

And I want another car.

Two of my coworkers have gotten new cars. I want one too!

Or a used/new car.

I will be upside down on mine though.

Let's all hold hands and pray that I can get what I want for the payments I want.

Oh my lord

Dear family member,


Shut the fuck up.

I am sorry that you have no problems and you want to call me with stupid petty bullshit but I am tired. I have problems of my own.

Get over it.

And don't invite my daughter to your house and then bitch because she spilled some kool aid. Your kids have made countless messes at my house and I never say a word. I clean it up because I understand they are kids.

You are off work all summer long.
Enjoy it and stop bitching about stupid crap. Like spilled kool aid for Gods sakes.

Thanks so much!
Kristi

Cute, right?

Jerk

Why are people such jerks?

This lady at work, who I thought was my friend is just hella rude. I told her that TC made his hair pink and wore it to daycare that way.

She said, "Why would you let him, don't you know the kids are going to make fun of him?"
I said, "No they won't."
And she said, "Yes they will."

I just walked off but I was pissed!!

I think all the kids will like it!

Resentful

So I have a friend who had a baby back in May. She reads my other 2 blogs so that is why I am posting this here.

Don't you hate it when people are so busy that they don't take time to get back to you in e mails, IM's, or even on Facebook??

This friend did this before she had a baby.

So the problem has only gotten worse.

Now it is like pulling teeth to get her to call you back, or e mail or anything.

Why is it that some people are so wrapped up in their own lives that they are not even courteous?? It is irritating!

I mean, DAMN, I have 2 kids and my son did not sleep for 6 goddamn years but I returned e -mails for God's sake!

And stop saying how "I WAITED 36 YEARS TO HAVE A BABY AND IF I WANT TO HOLD HER ALL DAY, I WILL." And stop crying everytime you look at your baby, can we say "postpartum much?"

Okay, I get it. I am being a bitch today but I wanted to get this off of my chest because it has really been pissing me off badly!

Tough

Sara came to me tonight crying.

My husband has not been very nice to her so far this summer.

He has been mad because TC is in daycare and Sara is home.

When she took care of TC over spring break for a few days, it was drama. He broke her cell phone in half one day. So that was my decision to put TC in daycare. Not that I wouldn't have enjoyed a break in daycare, it is hella expensive....but you do what you have to do.

So her daddy has been none too nice to her because she is home all day and TC is in daycare. I told her she needed to talk to her daddy and I had a few words to say to him myself.

We just now had a "come to Jesus" meeting. Lots of tears were shed, lots of words were said and now I guess at least Sara and I feel better.

We also discussed TC's autism and hubs feels that TC could eat healthier. I told him good luck with that but it is in his court to get TC to try more foods.

I guess we are better but being a family is hard and dealing with autism is harder.

Aggravation

People have been working my nerves today.

First of all this guy rode my ass all the way to work (On the road that is) Finally I slammed on my brakes and he stopped. I hate that!

And this morning as I was trying to get out the door on time, TC was showing his butt. He is all about the Transformers and he said, "I am going to transform the car and I am not going to daycare!"

Ok, whatever floats your boat. Just get in the damn car.

THEN my sister calls me and says her boss enrolled them in a training class for autism and how her boss said she could now help me with TC's autism. WTF? Yeah, because taking 1 fucking class will make you an expert? Give me a break.

WHY?

I think I am just going to name this blog: Kristi Bitches About Her Stupid Husband.

I cooked pasta yesterday with an alfredo sauce.
My husband always feels the need to "season" my cooking up.
He used crushed red pepper.
My ass is on fire.

He called me here at work and I said, "Stop using red pepper! I asked you not to do that anymore and yet you did it again. I have shit like 5 times already...and it is not solid shit, it is watery shit."

His reply,"Well, don't you use the bathroom a lot anyways?? I LIKE using the bathroom, so why are you complaining? Besides, I BARELY used any pepper. How could you even taste it?"

Oh fuck me running.

Why can't this man ever apologize and say, "Oh sorry babe, it won't happen again."

Why do I have to get 20 questions??

He had me so mad just now that I threatened to drive to his job and kick his ass. And it is 30 miles away. But it would be so worth it!

Man, my ass hurts.

ROFL

Naked swimmer

Update

I wasn't mad at my hubby anymore last night. Since Sara was at my sister's, I took TC to McDonalds and called hubs to ask if he wanted to meet me there.

He did.

So we ate and I told him a hilarious story about TC stripping at daycare. Nobody saw him but he thought he was going to swim with the others and he took his clothes off in order to put his trunks on. (I didn't pay for the month's activities since we were gone all last week and he will start ESY next week...so he didn't go swimming but it was funny anyways.) We had a long talk about not taking your clothes off at daycare.

I took TC home and we swam for a little bit. Then I came in and we took our baths.

He scratched his eczema a lot last night. I think the pool is drying him out. Bless his heart, his asthma is bad too because of this humidity.

I went and had lunch with a coworker today. It was nice to get away from my crazy boss. She is a lunatic. I came back and she asked me to call 83 stores and when I called the first 10 or so, someone had already called them.

I won't be calling anymore stores.

I have 26 vacation hours to last me til' August. I am contemplating when my next day off will be. I know that our business will close probably in the next 8 months or so and I am hanging in and hanging on. Severance is usually 1 week of pay for every year you have worked here, my time will be over 15 years. Then, hopefully I can find something else soon, and I will draw unemployment until I find something. But the no insurance thing is a big deal.

School is going well and I just got my first B- it was an 89 which pissed me off royally. But this professor was TOUGH and I am actually surprised my grade ended up being that high!

Yep

Sometimes...when you cry...no one sees your tears.

Sometimes...when you are in pain.no one sees your hurt.

Sometimes.when you are worried..no one sees your stress.

Sometimes.when you are happy..no one sees your smile.


But FART!! just ONE time...And everybody knows!!

Yes I am going to bitch about my husband again

Yep, I am.
Because he is a prick.

My husband is a constant complainer.

He wakes up bitching.
He comes home bitching.
He goes to bed bitching.
He wakes me up in the night bitching.
Or wanting to screw.

Let me share some examples.

This morning I woke him up because for whatever reason, he ignores the alarm. I told him, "Hubs, it is time for you to get up. You are going to be late."
He says,"Oh I am going to go in an hour late."
Fine.
I go back in one hour and tell him, "It is 6:40, wake up."
He replies, "Mmmmmmmmmm aaaah ughh"
Mmmkay
I go back at 7:00
"Hubs it is 7:00 now...you need to get up, you are going to be OVER an hour late"
He says," Why do you keep coming in here bugging me?"

Oh no that fucker di-n't.

He FINALLY gets up and is bitching, "I don't know why you kept coming in here, I told you I was going in late."
I said, "you said 1 hour, not 1 or 2 hours late."
He keeps mouthing.
I shut the door and walk into the living room.
I say under my breath, "Shut the fuck up."
And TC, who is on the couch, hears me. He says, "Ohhhhhhhhh Mama, you said a BAD BAD word. Ohhhhhhhhhh you shouldn't say those bad words."
Woops, my bad.

I forgot TC was there...LOL.


So I went into the bathroom to get ready and here comes my stupid ass husband, "Babe, why are you mad, I am on your side."
Whatever asshole (I thought this but wanted to say it)
I told him from now on his ass can sleep all day and he doesn't have to worry about me making sure he is up anymore.
DICKHEAD.

Another example.
Yesterday I asked Sara to peel some potatoes and I came home and cut them up and made chicken fried steak, corn, mashed potatoes, gravy and green beans.
Hubs comes home, "I am starving!"
Me: We are cooking, Sara peeled potatoes
Hubs: (looking into the pot where the potatoes are boiling) Dang, Sara, how many did you peel....3 ??
Me: There are plenty there, stop griping
Hubs: I am not griping but there are hardly any potatoes in there
Me: There are about 9 potatoes in there, we always have to throw the extras away anyways, let us girls worry about it like we always do

Fucker

And for the record, there were enough for my lunch the next day and about 4 tablespoons had to be thrown away

I tell my husband all the time that I want to be him.

Get up and go to work , not having to deal with the kids EVER.

Go out to eat lunch because you feel you are entitled (while I bring my lunch everyday)

Come home, eat a dinner that is ready when you get there

Take a shower

Hound your wife to screw and bitch if she says no because she is sweeping, or doing laundry, or doing homework

Eat snacks, ice cream, candy

Go to sleep

Wake up to clean house, clothes, kids, and a wife who has made you breakfast
Wash, rinse, repeat



And my boss has already pissed me off as of yesterday ...........stupid cunt.

WHA?

Gosh I haven't posted on here in forever.
What is it with summer, nobody is blogging anymore?
Or commenting for that matter.

Just wanted to say that Sex in the pool is different...really different.

Not perfect

If you read my other blogs...you know we are in New Mexico on vacation. It has been good, but not perfect. Before we even got out of Dallas good, my husband made me cry.

He can be a total ass that is for sure.

The drive was long but we made it.

Yesterday we went to Roswell to see the alien museum because my husband is into that stuff!

Today we visited the Carlsbad Caverns.

TC did well, even though he got tired because we walked almost 2 hours straight. I will post photos on my other blogs. We got CHILI's to go and we had to run by Wal Mart to get some more snacks. Once we got back to the room with the food we were all starving! I went out to the car to unload the Wal Mart stuff and I heard crying and when I came back to the room, I realized it was TC. Hubs was screaming at him because he didn't want the chicken strips we ordered for him. He had smelled them and that was it...he was not eating them. The thing is, he threw one on the floor. Hubs started fussing him out and TC cried and cried.

I told Hubs to let it go. I told TC to stop throwing his food down.

Autism is not perfect and TC has not been perfect on this trip. But it has been way more smoothe than our last trip. Tomorrow we are going to see my friend who just had a baby. On Tuesday evening we will be home.

I think we are all ready to spread out because being in a hotel room with 4 people can be wearing. And my husband is saying his head is hurting and he may be getting sick. And if you are married, you KNOW what a sick husband is like. No fun at all!

Tee hee

Blame it on the alcohol.....

LOL

What is going on

So yeah.

I am sofa king ready for vacay.

So, so, so ready.

I have not started my damn period yet. But when I do, I will shove WHATEVER up in there so I can swim without bleeding all over the damn place. Because I LURVE to swim y'all.

Sara is enjoying her summer so far, I guess. Since TC is going to daycare, Sara frequently gets up at noonish. Sickening, isn't it??

Poor TC has to get up at 6:45 to get ready to go to daycare.

But atleast next week we will be in New Mexico.

My husband has been pissing me off a lot lately. What's new right??

Oh My Lord

Oh my. I am still livid over something that happened yesterday.

I called my sister and my niece told me that my sister was at Wal Mart and that she was babysitting 2 kids.

I was like,"Well which kids?"
And my niece said, "Eli and I forgot the girl's name. You know Ms. Frosh's kids."
I said, "Oh really?? Hmmm...okay."

And I didn't say anything to my niece but my sister talked MUCH SHIT about this woman AND her kids. How the little girl is so bad and how she will never watch her again. So last night, I messaged my sister on Facebook asking her why she is babysitting these kids when she said NEVER AGAIN.

And her response was,"Well, I am watching them all weekend and I am making like $200."

Me: Well, isn't that interesting, you told me you weren't watching them anymore because the girl was BAD and the MOM is so snotty

My sister: I know but I changed my mind and I need the money

Me: Why? Didn't you just win a drawing for $500 (they had a drawing at work, and she won)

My sister: Yes, but I am going 3 weeks without a payday

Me: Well, good for you. It is very nice that you babysit everybody's kids but won't even offer to take TC for a few hours EVER.

My sister: Well, I have a cat remember?

WTF?

Me: Umm...well, he has been to your house before WITH your cat but I guess since I can't pay you $200 to watch him, that is why you never offer.

No response from my sister.

Me: Oh well, my kid, my problem right???

No response again.

I always try to be the bigger person and forgive my sister and I let her act like TC is some kind of a leper. She NEVER offers to take TC even for an hour or two to give me a break. She'll take SARA but NEVER TC. And I am sofa king sick of it!!

And I am sooooooooooo PMS'ing so I told her about herself. And TC started having eleventy billion meltdowns over a jacket. Sara was allowed to go to a friend's and she thought she was GROWN and came home late.

I am so glad to be at work away from everybody today.

Give me a break

Well, I posted about this in my autism blog. Today started out with a lot of tears because I felt TC was being talked about. Maybe these kids weren't even talking about him, but I felt they were and it hurt my heart.

Then a past classmate made a comment about how I needed to "teach TC about his differences so he won't be insecure."

WTF?

Bitch, please.

Then she commented about how much she knows about special needs kids and how God is trying to teach me something about myself and I can choose to react in a negative way or a positive one.

And all I have to say to her is:

Suck my dick.

To trim or not to trim

So we were talking about va-jay jays here at work earlier. I said, "I tell Sara that she needs to trim downstairs sometimes so that sasquatch doesn't get out of control." One lady here in the office said, "Oh, you do that?" And I'm like, "Hell yeah! Hubs would make fun of me if I didn't!" And she says, "Oh, I NEVER do that!"

REALLY??

Doesn't hair all over your body continue to grow?

And what happens if you never trim it? Will it grow down to your kneecaps??

I mean, speaking for myself, I have always done a little trimmy trim because when you are on your period doesn't that hair matte up? And I don't want dred locks on my cootch.

Just sayin'.

Hubs and sex and stupidity

My husband is so dumb.

Trust me, I love him. But DAMN!

He called me just now talking about all the guys he works with and how they look at online sites all day. He said, "They go on Hook Up dot com" and I was like, "WHA?" And then I said, "Oh! Match.com?"

"Yeah, that is it!" Hubs said. "And if I ever caught you doing something like that I would do something bad!"

WTF?

"Hubs, what the hell? Don't call me with that shit."

He said, "I didn't say you WERE, but if I ever caught you."

Me: Shut up Hubs, I am pms'ing and you are pissing me off royally

Hubs: Oh, okay, well, I love you so much

Me: Whatever

Then he proceeds to tell me about a dream he had where I "borrowed" a vibrator from my sister but refused to give him sex.

Good Lord.

My teenager

Today is Sara's last day of school. She has called me 3 times with some bullshit. First she wanted my mother in law to pick her and her friend up early. WHAT? THE HELL??

Then she just now called me about her friend riding the bus and I told her that SHE is to ride the bus and I don't really care what her friend does.

She just now called me back and said that she wants to go to another girls house because she is moving soon.

I told her, "NO! AND STOP CALLING ME WITH THIS BULL AT WORK!"

DAMN.

Now I understand why people kill their kids.

Kidding.

sort of

Teen drama

Yesterday I was so pissed! I left work at 3:30 because I wanted to go buy groceries without taking TC to the store. Because he is just an ass when I take him to the store. Especially after school when he is hungry.

So , I am at the store, checking out, when Sara texts me. "Mom I can't find my house key."

Holy unicorn testicles!

This girl is going to be the death of me.

I texted her back, "On my way."

I was almost at our house when she called me. I told her I am almost to the house. She was at a neighbor's house and I told her to come out so she could get in the car.

UGH.

We unloaded the groceries, put everything in the freezer and left the rest out. We then headed to daycare to pick up TC. I told Sara how the ladies at work treated me. She agreed that it was very shitty of them!

So today, I am at work....I woke with another killer sinus headache. I took medicine and finally around 11:00 it stopped hurting. I received a text from Sara saying she lost her friend's IPOD.

Good Lord.

She used a friend's IPOD and then let another girl use it, and the other girl left it in the bathroom. But the thing is, Sara borrowed it and SARA was responsible for it.

I am pissed.
PISSED PISSED PISSED PISSED PISSED PISSED PISSED THE HELL OFF.

And if I have to replace this kids IPOD it is coming out of Sara's ASS.

Going ghetto on their asses!

I officially blew up a few minutes ago. These bitches up here where I work are ...........well, bitches.

See, I have been moved 3 times and now I am in an office away from the other ladies. I can see one of them through my door but the rest of them are not in eyesight until I actually get up to leave my office.

So I have gotten close to the two ladies in the office next to mine. Occasionally we go to lunch or chit chat...whatever. They are both a lot like me, sort of tough on the outside but soft on the inside. Anyways, they don't pull any punches and are HONEST. I like that in a person.

However, the other ladies in the other office are backstabbers. I have seen them do it to one another so I watch out. I get along with everybody. But I watch myself.

We had a birthday dinner the other week. The girls in the "other office" threw it for me and my boss. The food consisted of soggy tuna fish, little weinies, crackers, salami, and chips.
I was pissed. I mean, I have made casseroles, cakes, and stuff like that for ALL of them for YEARS. And I get tuna and little smokies.

What
The
Hell
???

So today I came in and realized they had planned another dinner for a lady in here "because she is having a rough month." She has brisquet, chicken, and all kinds of things...quite the spread.
Nobody told me about this dinner.

I am pissed.

The more I thought about it the more pissed I got! One lady named Sally had the BALLS to come in here and say that I could eat "if I wanted to."

And I went the hell off!

They have been mad because I befriended the other two ladies in the office and we occasionally go to eat somewhere.

I told her, "You ladies in that office consistently leave me out. You order lunch all the time and never say a word to me and that is fine. But I have been good to everybody in there, I have given all of you clothes for kids/grandkids and I don't understand why you are always talking shit. If you have something to say to me, do it to my face!"

She started walking out, and said, "If you want to eat you can."

Then she called me on the phone and said, "If you give stuff to people and want to help them, you don't need to throw it back up in their face. I didn't ask you to give me clothes."

I said,"All I meant was that I have been good to you ladies and I don't know why you all treat me the way you do."

She tried to go on and I told her that I wasn't going to argue with her anymore. BITCH. FROM. HELL.

Sally is one of the MAIN ones who has talked much shit about me but she won't admit to it. Give me a break.

WHEW! I was so pissed!

Drama

The shit has hit the fan between my brother and oldest EVIL sister Ginger. She called Dean and told him how WRONG he is for not sending Kyle that money. And he went off on her. She told him, "I am not some bitch on the street that you can talk to any old kind of way!"

But she is...a Bitch I mean.

Anyways, I found out my nephew (Colton who is Dean's son) got his girlfriend pregnant and her Mom went and took her to get an abortion without the Dad's knowledge. No, I don't believe young people should have kids. But doing what she did and keeping it from the Dad, well that is not good either.

Not my choice and not my daughter, but still. It is a hard pill to swallow.

I just see so many people who long to have children and can't. And knowing that another baby will not be born.....a baby that should never have been conceived..it just is a sad deal.

I think my Mom is sick of Ginger staying there but she probably won't leave anytime soon. Sometimes you get what you ask for! And what goes around comes back around again and again and again!

Random

I am at work today.
It is my birthday.
I hope my kids don't destroy my house too much today.
Hubs is there but he is oblivious.
I brought plenty of chocolate to get me through the day.
I am only working til' 3:00 pm.
I spent way too much on groceries this week.
Money goes nowhere.
My husband spends too but swears it is all me.
I made a list last night to show him every major purchase we made TOGETHER.
It totaled up to $5000+.

Have a great day!

Aw hell

Yesterday I went to the dr.'s office. I was sitting quietly and working on an assignment when this lady walks in with 2 kids. She was very pretty, with long blonde hair. She had itty bitty shorts on that left nothing to the imagination. She was VERY loud. She was fussing at her kids because they were thirsty and wanted a cold drink. "I'll have to dig in my purse and you two WILL share!" She made a huge production of going the the vending machine and having her daughter pick out a drink, "Pick on Destiny! They have coke, orange, 7 Up, Root Beer, just pick one already!" She was so loud and I guess she wanted the whole entire room to look at her. Finally she was called back.

Hmph! And Hubs says I am loud!

So this brings me to things I hate the most:

1.Hoochies- please cover up! I don't want to see your ass cheeks or your hoo-ha poking out, and the camel toe is NOT in style.

2. Obnoxious people- get over yourself, you are not the only person on the planet...and I am talking to YOU -lady who was driving the Lexus this morning who pulled out in front of me like you didn't even see me. Hellure (Madea's way of saying Hello!) I was driving Hubs big ass truck. I thought about ramming into you but I had my 2 precious kids with me so I didn't. Beyotch, you are lucky!

3. Bitches- Yes, you, the girl at the pizza place who said my coupon was only good for 1 pizza when the manager always lets me get up to 5 pizzas at the q-pon price. I wanted to snatch your snotty ass across that counter yesterday. But my little boy was there to witness and I didn't want to be handcuffed in front of him.

4. Rude asses- yes, YOU the man who ran out in front of me and when I blew my horn you threw your hands up in the air as if to say, "WHAT?" I should have hit your ass, really. My kids were not in the truck with me anymore. ASSHAT.

Can you tell that I had a load of fun trying to get my kids dropped off and to work in one piece today??

So far today

This morning has been eventful.

I woke Hubs up for a little sumpin' sumpin'. I was in a bad way. Not giving up the pussy is hard work..LOL.

TC called me a bitch on the way to daycare. Once he got out, I popped his butt. He told me, "Mom, you need to brelax (relax)!

When the lady at daycare greeted him saying "Good Morning Tony," his reply was, "Whatever."

I talked to my sister who said her husband pissed her off so bad that she almost knocked his ass out with the iron. I told her she should threaten to iron his dong. We had a good laugh over that one!

A coworker is going around taking everybody's sugar levels, mine was fine, and blood pressure, mine is still high but I go back to the Dr. this week so we may have to try a new medication.

My boss is being her usual stupid self. God some days I want to go postal on her ass.

Confused

For those of you who are confused, you can read about my mom in my other blog. My Mom is something else....we didn't talk for several months because she is such a gossiper and she goes back and forth between us siblings and starts shit constantly.

My Mom has been married 5 times. My Bio. Dad was crazy and he and my Mom divorced when I was 4. She remarried to a man and was with him for about 10 years when he finally went crazy, he was a heroin addict. Her 3rd husband was a severe alcoholic who put us through hell. He couldn't stay in one place which resulted in us being homeless and going to an all (ONE RACE) school in South Dallas, we lived in a shelter and walked to the bus stop by blood banks, and many other dangerous places. For some reason, even after all my Mom put me through, I moved to Oklahoma to help her after I graduated-I had 2 baby brothers after all and I was the only one of us older kids who wasn't married. (Didn't live with her my senior year because she didn't want to stay in TX so I had to stay with a friend in order to graduate!)

My oldest brother Dean and my Mom had a falling out last year and he cut all ties with her until recently. Now he is talking to her a lot and telling her all of his personal issues. She talks about him, me, my sister, my other sister, and my other two brothers. She is such a backstabber and I have told her she is one. That is why we have the issues we have.

My Mom is clearly dysfunctional and she hates the fact that ANY of us kids are able to take care of our families without depending on her.

I want nothing from her. All I ever wanted was for her to love and support me. Apparently she can't do that so I limit my contact with her.

She has my 42 year old sister living with her. My sister, Ginger, is evil...straight up. She adopted a kid who is now 6 years old even though she kicked both of her older kids out when they were only 13. She is sorry....a very sorry individual. The epitome of laziness and just an awful person.

I am close to her son,Joseph, who is in prison. She hates me for that. Now she is worming her way into his life and he is allowing it. Shame on him. She beat him daily for years and years. She called the cops on him and got him arrested. That is why I am hurt, I feel betrayed in a way.

I had custody of him when he was 17 because he was in foster care and hated it. But he refused to listen to any rules ( I let him stay out as long as he called me and let me know where he would be, and he didn't do that so after several warnings, he had to go!) The whole time he lived with me, Ginger would call and screw with his mind. She is the devil's spawn. I swear she is.

As for my brother Dean, he is a recovering alcoholic and we have been so close this last year. But recently he has started lying and I have caught him in several lies. I have supported him through so much, including visiting him while he was in jail TWICE. He moved in with me and Hubs for awhile too. I took him to work when he had no way to get there.

And I feel like this is how I get repaid for being there for the convicts in my life. I get repaid by them lying to me. I know my Mom tells me things about my nephew to hurt me because she knows how much I care for him. So I take the things she has said with a grain of salt, but as for my brother, he has lied to my face and I am very pissed about that!

I am just tired. That is why I don't deal with my Mom, she takes such joy in hurting others.She puts on her dress, and hat, and goes to church on Sunday but she spews hate all week long.