Asshole

I had a great idea to go out to breakfast this morning and to an early movie. Well, breakfast turned into a tear fest for me. My husband felt I embarrassed him because he pointed out where he wanted to sit and I told him we had to wait to be seated. He said I was talking too lound and people were looking at him and that all I want to do is control everything and everybody.
I sat at the table before we ordered our food and I felt tears come into my eyes so I went to the bathroom.

I came back and my daughter was telling her Dad that he needed to stop being mean. Well, this pissed him off and he continued to talk about how I embarrassed him. We ordered and I ate my food in silence once it came to the table.

I was mortified.
I wanted to literally crawl underneath the table.
I was so mad I wanted to punch him in his fucking face.
For real!

We finished eating and drove to the movie place where we had to wait over 30 minutes for the movie to start. Hubs and I didn't speak the whole time.
Fucker.
I was still mad.

We went in to see Toy Story 3 and I sat by him even though I didn't want to. He whispered he was sorry but I was still not very happy.

Well, when we got home, he was all kissy kissy. I said I needed to go get gas and pick up a few things from the store. He said he would drive me.
So we went and then when we got home, he thought everything was good and that he might get some ass.
I don't think so!!

When I went on my evening walk, I was thinking about what happened this morning and it made me angry all over again! After I took a bath, I came into our room and told him how he made me feel and that I was not trying to embarrass him but he really really embarrassed me!

I am not mad anymore but I told him that next time I will leave before I get treated that way.
No, screw that, I told him I will never go out to breakfast with him ever again as long as I live!

She don't rub my back anymore

OMG my Mom called me this morning with drama about my brothers. It is all in my Living in Tx blog.

N-T ways, did I tell y'all that my husband's mom is taking him Friday to the dentist. Ha! He didn't even tell me he needed a ride, I asked him and he said, "Well I can drive myself." Mmmkay then.
So now she is taking him.
Glad they got that all worked out.
LOL.

So yep, we had a long talk last night and I told him that he hurt me when he blamed me for him not going to the dentist YEARS ago. I mean, this man has not gone to the dentist since TC was a baby, TC is 8!!
I have been fussing for him to go but damn, I get tired of being the one to babysit a grown ass man. So I waited til' he made his own appointment which he never freakin' did!!
I made him an appointment last week for this weeks visit.

He told me I am not sympathetic enough and even after he had back surgery, I didn't come in the room to rub his back or anything!

I told him that I am sorry that his Mom coddled and babied him so much, I never had that. My mom had 4 kids and too much drama to babysit me. Hell, I was tough even as a kid because I was the baby girl and nobody babied me! I had to grow a thick skin really quick! Or get my ass beat a lot. Then when I was 10, she had Kyle and when I was 15, she had Robby. So I had to help take care of them.

And as for me not rubbing his back, I was trying to take care of two kids, work and handle all of the household crap, mow, pay bills, all while worrying about him and his recuperation. I did take off work a whole week to be home with him. But shoot me because I didn't have any time left to take a shit!

Oh that conversation had me really ready to spit nails. But I do feel better today and I am hoping he is not in too much pain AFTER the root canal or I may have to go rent a room and get away from him. Of course I will take the kids with me too.

Maybe.

My family is crazy as hell

So I get home yesterday and I was in a good mood suprisingly. Sara cracked me up asking were we moving to South Carolina? And I was like, "HELLS NO!" She sighed in relief because her friend told her South Carolina has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the U.S.
WHAT THE FUCK?

Anyways, I sat down and my husband told me his plan is for me to be a stay at home Mom. Geez. He had it all worked out complete with, "We are selling the house and moving into an apartment."

Again, WHAT THE FUCK?

He has lost his damn mind. For reals.

For once I was not the one freaking out, he was. I told him that I am going to use my severance and unemployment and we will be fine and NO we are not selling our house and I am not going to be a stay at home Mom. I will get a damn job and that will be that!

OM to the G

So I text Hubby through the day and that way if he makes me mad, nobody has to know.
He told me earlier he "didn't think about it" but he needs gas in his truck.
DUDE, he carried around the debit card for 4 days.

How in the hell do you FORGET to get gas?
WTF?

STRESS

Wow, it has been quite a week at work. Customers have been crazy because they all want free products and they want us to make them over and over again.

This is the time of year when the moochbags come out.
UGH.

Pray for me. I might lose my mind.
I am working our online site from home a lot.
Which is good because I need the money.
I am considering cutting off my home phone and getting my internet thru Dish.
It may save me around $50 a month and I need to save where I can.

After I paid bills and got groceries this week, I had $6 left in my checking account.
It is kind of depressing!

I have started taking a stand and doing some things on my own and I now tell my husband if he doesn't like it he can just get the hell over it.
But that I am not fighting with him over decisions I make and he should try to support me more instead of trying to sabotage my plans all the time. Because I love him but it is not all about him 24/7.
I think he is in shock!

Marriage vent, feel free to skip

My 401 K loan FINALLY came on Saturday.

I drove to my work to wait on it. But hubs called me twice being a DICK ( he kept saying they had lied to me and it wasn't coming and why did I have to drive to my job and on and on and on), so I just left. As soon as I got into our town, my coworker called and said it was here. I went ahead and drove home, everybody got ready and we came BACK to my job to pick up the check.

We took the kids to Wally World and then to lunch. At the chinese place where we ate, hubs made a comment about how polite the little waitress was, how nice and quiet. So much unlike me. (this is how he would LIKE me to be)

We came home and I started working on a homework assignment.

Hubs went to the bedroom to watch a movie.
Sara sat on the couch watching tv and TC asked her for a bowl for his chips.
She continued to ignore him, and she didn't know I KNEW because I had earphones in. But I heard him ask her 4 times and she ignored him.
Finally I turned around and screamed, "SARA! Get him a bowl PLEASE!! Jeez, he asked you no less than 4 times and you ignored him."

You would think hubs would come out but he stayed in the room for over two hours and ignored my outburst.

When he finally came out, he made a nasty comment that he is tired of my school stressing me out so much and why couldn't I just CALM DOWN?? And I was pissed off at his comment.

Let me say I am not one of those nagging wives who asks him to help around the house. Typically he does not help and I have realized he won't ever help me like I feel he should...so why bring it up and fight about it?? And no, he rarely does the outside work such as mowing, etc.. I do that too!
N-E ways, we had it OUT.
The kids were outside. They did not hear it.

But I told him since he is constantly saying how I should change, then maybe he should not be with me, just divorce my ass. Maybe he should pack his crap and leave. I am who I am.

I feel I have changed a lot in this marriage. I don't drink, I don't go out, all I ever do is have lunch occasionally with a girlfriend. I take control of the household bills, chores, anything to do with the kids. I do it all. And I don't bitch about it. But I am tired of him saying how I should be a certain way. How I should not yell, or raise my voice, or be more quiet in public.

I know how to act in public. I am not one of those white trash acting women who acts like everybody should hear EVERYTHING she says. I know how to act.

Do I lose my cool sometimes? Hell yeah.
Am I perfect? Hell no.

But my family is my world and I do get tired of reassuring him about my love, loyalty, etc. I have done this for 15 years and I am tired.
Tired I tell ya.

He did not leave.
But we really didn't talk much after that.
Sunday I got up and went to Sonic to get lunch.
Then I came home, ate, and left to buy groceries. I asked him did he want to go and he said, "do you want me to go?"
I asked again, "Do you want to go?"
And he said, "I guess not."

I came home and finished an assignment and then took the kids to the park.
He stayed in the bed all day long.

I came home from the park and we talked. I told him we are so different. I love to be around people, I love taking the kids to places. I want to live life, not stay holed up in the bedroom 24/7.
We are trying to work it out but I am just TIRED AS HELL and I feel as if this marriage is becoming a broken record.

My husband and his crazy ideas

Well, since Billy's passing, a lot of things have been going wrong.
Financially we needed some cash and FAST.
I decided to take a 401 K loan out.
It works.

I pay the money back with my paycheck and I have done loans before.

So my husband, being the greedy ass that he is, has already decided he is joining the gym.
With some of the 401 K money.

Mind you, we have a treadmill at home.
We have 4 acres of land, a basketball goal, pool...plenty of ways to get exercise.
None of which he takes advantage of.

I mentioned that I have been walking on my break at work and now all of a sudden, he wants to join the gym.

What the fuck ever.

We need to fix our road, my car has some front end thing going on, we need to catch up on a few bills, we plan on buying a new bed, and birthdays and Christmas are coming up.

And no, I am not spending all of the money. It is only a few thousand, and it will go fast.
I plan on socking back some of it. Being a homeowner, I know that things can go wrong and I don't want to be flat busted if things DO go wrong.

I told him we can pay for one month and I will see how many times he goes to the damn gym. I bet he goes about 3 times, IF that many. Just like with anything new, he will like it for about 5 minutes, then throw it down and walk away.

Pissed off

Sorry I haven't posted in so long.
All of this stuff with Billy has been so draining.
And my husband and I have gotten into two big fights.
One last week and one last night.
The one last night was over him not taking the trash out.
Stupid, I know.
But I am a smartass and he didn't like my comments.
Then he has to say stupid things like he is all alone.

Give me a fucking break.
What am I..chopped liver?
Am I not here everyday giving 110%?


I am tired.
Tired of being pulled in so many different directions.
I have reconnected with some old friends and I am going to start making it about me.
My family can be so selfish.

And no I am not PMS'ing. I am just PISSED.

WHY?

I think I am just going to name this blog: Kristi Bitches About Her Stupid Husband.

I cooked pasta yesterday with an alfredo sauce.
My husband always feels the need to "season" my cooking up.
He used crushed red pepper.
My ass is on fire.

He called me here at work and I said, "Stop using red pepper! I asked you not to do that anymore and yet you did it again. I have shit like 5 times already...and it is not solid shit, it is watery shit."

His reply,"Well, don't you use the bathroom a lot anyways?? I LIKE using the bathroom, so why are you complaining? Besides, I BARELY used any pepper. How could you even taste it?"

Oh fuck me running.

Why can't this man ever apologize and say, "Oh sorry babe, it won't happen again."

Why do I have to get 20 questions??

He had me so mad just now that I threatened to drive to his job and kick his ass. And it is 30 miles away. But it would be so worth it!

Man, my ass hurts.

Not perfect

If you read my other blogs...you know we are in New Mexico on vacation. It has been good, but not perfect. Before we even got out of Dallas good, my husband made me cry.

He can be a total ass that is for sure.

The drive was long but we made it.

Yesterday we went to Roswell to see the alien museum because my husband is into that stuff!

Today we visited the Carlsbad Caverns.

TC did well, even though he got tired because we walked almost 2 hours straight. I will post photos on my other blogs. We got CHILI's to go and we had to run by Wal Mart to get some more snacks. Once we got back to the room with the food we were all starving! I went out to the car to unload the Wal Mart stuff and I heard crying and when I came back to the room, I realized it was TC. Hubs was screaming at him because he didn't want the chicken strips we ordered for him. He had smelled them and that was it...he was not eating them. The thing is, he threw one on the floor. Hubs started fussing him out and TC cried and cried.

I told Hubs to let it go. I told TC to stop throwing his food down.

Autism is not perfect and TC has not been perfect on this trip. But it has been way more smoothe than our last trip. Tomorrow we are going to see my friend who just had a baby. On Tuesday evening we will be home.

I think we are all ready to spread out because being in a hotel room with 4 people can be wearing. And my husband is saying his head is hurting and he may be getting sick. And if you are married, you KNOW what a sick husband is like. No fun at all!

Hubs and sex and stupidity

My husband is so dumb.

Trust me, I love him. But DAMN!

He called me just now talking about all the guys he works with and how they look at online sites all day. He said, "They go on Hook Up dot com" and I was like, "WHA?" And then I said, "Oh! Match.com?"

"Yeah, that is it!" Hubs said. "And if I ever caught you doing something like that I would do something bad!"

WTF?

"Hubs, what the hell? Don't call me with that shit."

He said, "I didn't say you WERE, but if I ever caught you."

Me: Shut up Hubs, I am pms'ing and you are pissing me off royally

Hubs: Oh, okay, well, I love you so much

Me: Whatever

Then he proceeds to tell me about a dream he had where I "borrowed" a vibrator from my sister but refused to give him sex.

Good Lord.