I have considered counseling for me, my hubby refuses to go.
Let me say I am a huge communicator. I want to work problems out with my husband. That is why I sat down and talked to him last night.
I hope I got through, we talked for over an hour.
I told him how he made me feel and he acknowledged it and apologized.
I know that I am hard on people but I expect things from my husband.
I want him to be present and accountable and apologize when he is wrong.
I don't think that is too much to ask for.
We have had a long road together.
We only dated 3 months before marrying.
Lots of baggage from our childhood.
He was an alcoholic before we married and he has not gone backwards, not one time.
He has Mama issues.... his Mom is a whole 'nother story.
She had him at 14.
I know she loves him but she does not even see our kids unless we go to her house.
She has pets and TC is allergic but I do try to make an effort.
I am doing better!!
His Dad was killed in a motorcycle accident before we met.
They were very close but his Dad was "not right" after an accident in the army.
He introduced Hubs to alcohol at 9 years old.
Don't get me wrong blogger friends, my husband is a good man.
But he drives me fucking insane a lot of the time.
I will keep trying.
Because I love him.
And I love our kids.
And we have a good life, we really do.
I never imagined I could have all I do. And be happier than I ever thought possible.
This is just another bump in the road and we will get past it.
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we talked Saturday night for 3 hours most of it i spent crying. we are not married and this hurts me very deeply.
i don't know i tried to use my counselors suggestions but he batted every one away and all i could do was lose my mind and i did.
i love him and finally i said i don't want to be your girlfriend and you said i have bad credit but i can't fix that without a job, you said it would take a job that paid a lot so we could afford the sitter and honestly it feels like you don't want to get married because you don't want me to work but you want me to fix my past debt before we can get married but i cannot do that without a job!?!?
then he goes, and i swear to god i could have killed him for this, he goes 'why do you only talk about this when your mad?'
what the fuck can i just not win for losing!!!!
then after i was done being angry i cried so hard i thought my eyes were swollen shut and he started crying and it just sucked ass.
i really have no where to go and he is a wonderful provider i just want to be married and have some security in this relationship.
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