Marriage

I have been watching a lot of Netflix movies. I watched a documentary today called "the farmer#s wi*fe" and it was very interesting. In this film there was a couple who had married young and began farming right away. They started a family right away as well.

After they were married a few years, the weather caused their crop to be bad, for years. They continued to struggle and their marriage suffered as well. He was a very very hard worker. And she cleaned houses 2 days a week while her older two kids were in school. She was bitter about having to work and not be a stay at home mom. Needless to say, most of his thoughts were about the farm but he also worked a full time job on the side so they could afford to eat! They had no clue about finances but finally she started learning about the farm finances once they were about to lose everything. She also started school in order to get an associates in business.

The thing is through the entire documentary she blamed him for her not being able to be a stay at home mom. She was upset he was so fixated on the farm. Her family members(brothers and sisters) were highly successful and were not happy about her being so poor and they let her know it all the time. The more she listened to them, the more she began to be negative towards her husband. He went to counseling with her because she wanted him to and their marriage did get better.
For awhile.

I read (after I watched this documentary) that they got divorced shortly after it aired. It made me a little sad. Not only for them but for their kids as well. I think they really loved each other but finances and things that were said had taken their toll.

Anybody who is married, or has been married, knows it is hard. Sometimes I lose my shit on my husband. He has a lot of health problems, mainly his back. His last MRI showed cracks in his lower vertebrae. Where this woman got frustrated because her husband did not spend enough time with his kids, I feel the same way but for completely different reasons. My husband cannot physically do a lot due to his back, and her husband was breaking his back to try to make a go of the farm and also work a full time job. To me he was quite a man but she always wanted more. Yet I know how hard it is to have financial problems.

Hopefully they are both in a much better place with their new spouses..both have remarried. He is still farming and she is working for the farm tax department. I guess what I am saying is we all have our battles and it is up to us how to deal with them. My husband and I are doing well and I am receiving more understanding from him on how I feel. I am also less stressed because I am home full time (for now) and I have free time just to do what I want for a change!!

We will see what the future holds, sometimes we just never know.

Last days

Tomorrow is my last day at work. I can't help but be excited and also a little sad.
I got married right after I started working here.
Had both of my babies while working here.
I have gone through a lot of changes and growing up as I have worked here over the years.
To think I was 21 when I started working here. Hubs and I were newly in love.
Now I am soon to be 37 and I have learned a lot in the last 15 1/2 years.

I have learned that people are fickle.
Watch who you befriend because they can take things you tell them in confidence and use them against you.
If there are one or two people you can trust, feel blessed.
Stay out of the drama.
It took me awhile to learn this one but now I stay out of the drama and my life is a lot easier!

When I find a new job I plan on staying pretty much to myself and not getting too close to my coworkers for a long time, if ever.
Women are snakes!

I got my way after all!

I am so excited!! I was invited by a friend to visit on Easter and have a big dinner with her family. I told my husband and he had a huge fit! He said, "We are going to Mom's"
So I had decided I would see my friend another time.

However, my mother in law called me today and said she wanted to do Easter on Saturday, not Sunday!
So now I am going to both.
Woo freaking hoo!

Nanny nanny boo boo hubs!

I am off the next two days and my last day to work is this Thursday.
Then I am planning on changing a lot of things, including my weight.
I want to get healthier. I am excited!

Brothers

Things are going well here. Other than this crazy cold spell we have again in Tx. I didn't even go out all day today. My Mom called and told me about my two crazy brothers, both have been in jail and I am so over their sorry asses.

I want to ask her, "Where were you when I needed you? Hell, I had to grow up at a very young age because we were fucking homeless at 15." My sister was molested for years by our stepdad. Unbeknownst to me, and why she never told me I will never understand.

But my sorry loser brothers get all the attention. They have both been offered chance after chance after chance. They have both been to rehab. Neither of them will work or do anything to make an effort. They only think of themselves! I am just tired of them.

I have helped both of them financially but I am done. I work and I will take care of me and mine and they need to get a life and get a JOB!

Last days

As of next week, I will be unemployed. It has been a long run. 15+ years at this job. I married my husband while working here and I had both of my babies and came back to work 6 weeks later. I have had days when I loved this job and days when I hated it (or should I say the people I work with). It has been a good ride.
Now it is time to get off this ride and start all over again somewhere else.
I hope the next one lasts the rest of my life.
I am not liking this change too much!

Today they fed us Mexican food.
We had a good time.
I will miss it.

I'm back!

Gosh, I haven't posted here in so long. I hate it when people apologize for not posting so I won't do that.

Wow, a lot has been going on. They did not have the funeral til' last Thursday. She did not look that good, you could see bruises under her makeup where they tried to work on her. I am pretty sure she overdosed on pain meds.

My brother left for several days and my Mom and I tried to visit Laura's family and help the kids out when needed. The service was sad and a little crazy. Then Laura's sister posted pics on Facebook of her in her casket.
Creeeeeepy.

Things are finally back to normal at my house. I tell my kids they need to stop misbehaving and appreciate me more, we just never know when it is our time to go!

Marriage and Death

Things are better.

Hubs is making an effort.
We will see what happens.

Dealing with a death in the family right now so I am just going to be there for my brother and his kids. His ex wife passed this morning and she was only 33.