Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Cardiologist; little brother is moving back

Today I take Sara to the cardiologist for her irregular heartbeat. I am PMS'ing and it is one of those crybaby months so I am trying not to get too worked up. I will let y'all know what he says. Our appointment is at 2:00.

I got news that my little brother Kyle is moving down from Montana. I haven't seen him since TC was a baby.

Kyle is 10 years my junior. He is my Mom's "miracle baby" because after she had me she had her tubes tied. Whne she remarried she decied to have them untied and she had 2 miscarriages before she had him. He was so fat and sweet and I remember he used to water the yard in his diaper and it would practically sag to the ground and he would cry when we turned the water off.
He loved the outdoors and always got brown as a little Mexican. He still loves to be outside and is an avid fisherman. He lives in Montana and it is beautiful there! Plenty of places to fish.

In Kyle's teen years, my oldest sister Ginger (aka EVIL ONE) influenced Kyle a lot and he would go to her house and get high. He was in trouble as a teen but never anything serious and he managed to stay out of jail by the grace of God.

He reconnected with his Dad when he was 18 and he moved to Monahans Tx to work the oil rigs. After a long shift, he was in the truck with his crew and the driver fell asleep. The truck flipped 4 times. Kyle was asleep in the back but was thrown through the windshield which broke his face and his back.

My best friend called me because she worked the wreck. She told me Kyle may not live. They care-flighted him to Lubbock where he stayed in intensive care for weeks. He had his whole face operated on and his jaw was wired shut.

Kyle has always been tall and thin but at 6' 5" he lost down to 140 pounds and when he got out of the hospital I went to Oklahoma to help my Mom with him. He got out of the car and looked like the living dead. His pants kept falling down. His entire jaw had been broken and his teeth were all loose. He could not eat. He had a hole in his throat from the trachiotomy.

He gave my Mom hell. I went and spent $100 on juice and soft foods. All Kyle wanted to do was gripe and say he wished he could die. Oh yeah, and he wanted us to take him to his friends so he could party.

After I left, he ended up leaving my Mom's because she could not deal with him, he was an asshole! He was mad about his face (he DID look different) and he was only 18, and a very IMMATURE 18 at that. Emotionally he could not deal.

He did not follow through and do what he was supposed to do with his medical issues. He lost his workman's comp. He finally moved to Montana where he ended up going to jail, and eventually prison.

He was in prison for over 2 years and when he was released he did well for awhile but ended up back in trouble. He got out of prison earlier this year. I guess he has finally decided to grow up because he is clean and sober. He will be staying with my older brother Dean, who has lined up a job for him.

I am excited to see Kyle, it has been so long. He is a lot like me, a loud mouth but crazy and we have always gotten along really well!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009


Do I ever post here anymore?
I guess only when I want to bitch about my husband.

Have you ever watched that show "Hoarders"? That show is a hot mess. Can you imagine living with thousands of pounds of trash all around you?? UGH. That show makes me want to go scrub something. And you KNOW those houses stink. Ewwwww.

Things are really going good at my house. I have tried to think before I speak and hold myself accountable for my actions but I let hubs know I am not taking any shit from him neither. Some days I imagine what it would be like if I were single. But then I think I would probably have to work 2 or 3 jobs and Sara would be raising TC, and how fair is that??? So I am trying and making an effort and so is he.

Marriage is hard as hell. Hubs and I both had rocky upbringings and not the best role models when it came to relationships. We are trying but dysfunction creeps in a lot. I realize it too. So I guess that is a good thing because I want to change it.

Friday, December 18, 2009


Tomorrow my sister and her family are coming over to open gifts.
Which means I have to clean house and buy groceries (I do this every Sat or Friday anyways) and run around like crazy tomorrow morning.
They are coming over around lunchtime.

Hubs is mad because he wants sex 24/7 and mentioned getting some in the morning. I told him "How in the world am I going to get all my stuff done PLUS give it up all by 11:00?"

Besides that, I don't want to have to shower before my sister comes over.
I bathe at night.
I don't want to be all YUCKY because I had sex.
I always have to shower after sex.
Do you??
I don't think men realize that sex is really messy for us.
Sex is good, don't get me wrong, but I have other things on my mind other than f#*!*#g everyday, all day.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Topsy turvy

I hate it when we fight like that.

We are still tiptoeing around one another. And the hurtful things that he said are still there.
Of course I love him and Of course he is sorry.

I am trying to work on how I react to things and instead of flying off the handle and screaming and yelling, acting like an adult instead. Speaking in a calmer tone and not acting like a lunatic.

It is not all him, but it is not all me either.

I don't want my kids to have parents that are divorced. I went through that, my Mom married 3 men when I was growing up.

I also know from reading my bible that my background does not determine my destiny.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

I have issues, he is perfect

Okay I was hoping for a relaxing weekend.
I think someone is out to get me for real.

My husband woke up bitching yesterday.
He says he is the most pleasant person to be around.

So. Not. True.
Well, I told him we are all sick of him waking up an bitching.
He lays in bed til' noon and then gets pissy if we are cooking something and don't come ask him if he is hungry.

Hell, he was in bed.
We thought he was asleep!

So we got into it and he proceeded to tell me how he is sick of me running my mouth and how I always try to put him in his place.

What ever.

Later on, I was doing some homework and he said, "Oh this house is DIRTY. Sara needs to clean it tomorrow."

Which pissed me off!

I got up this morning, was in the kitchen cooking breakfast and here he comes.

Hubs: Oh, those pork chops are not ready yet, let them get brown before you flip them over.
Me: Mmmhmmm

I cooked and then left his stuff on the counter.
Sara went and told him his food was ready.

After we all ate, I said, "We ALL are cleaning today, that includes the kids, me and YOU hubs."
(I got a crazy look)
I told him, "Hey you can make the bed while Sara works on her room and I do the livingroom and kitchen."

So Sara, TC and I are working away and I realize the heat is on.
So I turn the heat off. We are sweating bullets!
Here comes Hubs cranking the heat up.
Hubs: Who keeps turning the heat off?
Me: I do! It is hot as hell in here.
Hubs: Well, I am trying to warm it up so I can take a shower.

I go into the bedroom and realize he never made the bed, he never did anything!
He took a shit for 30 minutes and then he decided to shower.
I was fucking pissed.

I went in the bathroom and told him that I am pretty sick and tired of him making his little shitty comments but never ever ever helping me out around here.
And it is not Sara's job to clean the house when 4 of us live here, hell I already get up at 4:30 every morning! WTF??

He gets out of the shower PISSED OFF. He starts screaming at me and then he punches the closet door. Which REALLY pissed me off.
I hit him in his chest and told him he is not tearing my house up.

That Mother fucker.
I was mad!

He says he is sick of my mouth and how I make his life hell and he doesn't want to live this way and he is leaving.
So I told him to go ahead and pack his shit but he needs to take a little bit of responsibility for his actions and choices.

Yes, I can be an asshole.
But my God!
He works 3 or 4 days a week, if he is not sick (He missed 2 days last week). And then he comes home and lays his ass in the bed and shits and eats and wants to fuck.

And in the meantime, I am running around here cleaning, cooking, laundrying, taking care of kids, going to school, working on WORK from home.
Come on!!
Who wouldn't get sick of it??

I told him that if he is so miserable to leave but he needs to think real long and hard because if he leaves, the door will not be open whenever he feels like he wants to come back.
He has 2 kids who he will see on the weekend and I will be the one raising them full time.
So if I suck so bad, maybe he should leave. But stop threatening me that you are leaving.
Think about it Mister.

And he said that he doesn't have any problems, it is me and my big mouth. And if I would learn to keep it shut, everything would be dandy.

Oh, sure, I am the ONLY one in this marriage who takes ownership of their issues.
I suggested counseling and he said that the man up above can fix any and all of our problems.
I told him ,"Do you not think I pray everyday? I pray for God to give me strength to be the best Mom and wife I can be. But he cannot fix someone who does not think they have any faults."

I am so glad he is perfect and I am the one who is fucked up.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

F Bomb, be prepared!

So I took Sara to the dr. yesterday. I will blog about it in my Living in Tx blog.
But oh. my. god.
I was already having a bad morning this morning.

I am tired as hell first of all.
I have been 1/2 way sick all week with my ears.

TC fell last week and hurt his knee.
Sara fainted this week.
Hubs came home with food poisoning yesterday.

Can something else happen to send me over the edge?

Oh, yes it can!
Because I have a teen.
Who leaves her purse laying around and this morning she tells me she can't find her money.
And she needs money for lunch because she has another field trip today.

(I had $4 in my purse so that is what she got)
Me:"Where is the $10 you had?"
Sara: I don't know
Me: What do you mean you don't know
Sara: Well, it WAS in my purse now I can't find it
Me: What the hell, Sara?
Sara: Well, I might have put it in my jewelry box
Sara: Well, I'm not sure if I put it there
Me: Did you leave your purse unattended again?
Sara: No
Sara: Well.............. I did yesterday, I left it in the classroom
Me: WTF?

And yes, I was cursing a lot.
I am about to have to pay $80 for a MP3 player that she took to school (not hers, my niece's) and she left it in her purse at dance and now it is GONE
So, last year someone stole her phone
This year it has been money TWICE and an MP3 player
Holy fucking shit
Are you kidding me?

So, we went back home and the money IS NOT in her jewelry box.
Hubby was in bed sick and I told him that I wanted to whoop her ass.
For real.
And not STOP whooping her ass.
But I didn't, I took her to school and then I drove to work and cried the whole way.


Sunday, December 6, 2009

Bad blogger

Everytime I get a post together in my head, I never come on here and post it.
I am getting ready for Christmas....are you ready?

I am taking tomorrow off because my ear is killing me and TC did something to his leg at school and he is limping but has progressively gotten better this weekend.

Not a lot is going on otherwise.

Guess I'd better hit the sack!