Today I take Sara to the cardiologist for her irregular heartbeat. I am PMS'ing and it is one of those crybaby months so I am trying not to get too worked up. I will let y'all know what he says. Our appointment is at 2:00.
I got news that my little brother Kyle is moving down from Montana. I haven't seen him since TC was a baby.
Kyle is 10 years my junior. He is my Mom's "miracle baby" because after she had me she had her tubes tied. Whne she remarried she decied to have them untied and she had 2 miscarriages before she had him. He was so fat and sweet and I remember he used to water the yard in his diaper and it would practically sag to the ground and he would cry when we turned the water off.
He loved the outdoors and always got brown as a little Mexican. He still loves to be outside and is an avid fisherman. He lives in Montana and it is beautiful there! Plenty of places to fish.
In Kyle's teen years, my oldest sister Ginger (aka EVIL ONE) influenced Kyle a lot and he would go to her house and get high. He was in trouble as a teen but never anything serious and he managed to stay out of jail by the grace of God.
He reconnected with his Dad when he was 18 and he moved to Monahans Tx to work the oil rigs. After a long shift, he was in the truck with his crew and the driver fell asleep. The truck flipped 4 times. Kyle was asleep in the back but was thrown through the windshield which broke his face and his back.
My best friend called me because she worked the wreck. She told me Kyle may not live. They care-flighted him to Lubbock where he stayed in intensive care for weeks. He had his whole face operated on and his jaw was wired shut.
Kyle has always been tall and thin but at 6' 5" he lost down to 140 pounds and when he got out of the hospital I went to Oklahoma to help my Mom with him. He got out of the car and looked like the living dead. His pants kept falling down. His entire jaw had been broken and his teeth were all loose. He could not eat. He had a hole in his throat from the trachiotomy.
He gave my Mom hell. I went and spent $100 on juice and soft foods. All Kyle wanted to do was gripe and say he wished he could die. Oh yeah, and he wanted us to take him to his friends so he could party.
After I left, he ended up leaving my Mom's because she could not deal with him, he was an asshole! He was mad about his face (he DID look different) and he was only 18, and a very IMMATURE 18 at that. Emotionally he could not deal.
He did not follow through and do what he was supposed to do with his medical issues. He lost his workman's comp. He finally moved to Montana where he ended up going to jail, and eventually prison.
He was in prison for over 2 years and when he was released he did well for awhile but ended up back in trouble. He got out of prison earlier this year. I guess he has finally decided to grow up because he is clean and sober. He will be staying with my older brother Dean, who has lined up a job for him.
I am excited to see Kyle, it has been so long. He is a lot like me, a loud mouth but crazy and we have always gotten along really well!
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2 comments:
Wow. But ya know, I can sorta understand how something that tragic would affect an 18 year old that way. I mean, talk about emotional and mental turmoil!!! But at least he is well now and I hope you have a wonderful visit with him.
My son gets out tomorrow!!!! Woo Hoo!
ok so therapy was a bit of a disappointment, i went in with a note book and pen to take notes and all we did was talk about me. it was like are you going to give me some pointers or what?!? and then i realized that she needs to know who i am before she can tell what would work for me, one thing she recommended was something called EMDR which i can't remember what it stands for but is some sort of emotional therapy that helps you deal with the past in a fast effective way. she said i am in ptsd mode and have been since i heard from captain stupid in the summer. so when wes and i are arguing about something he can say or do something that triggers an event in the past where my brain told me to process it in a 'survival mode' type way and it continues to process those triggers the way they did in the past when i was trying to protect myself.
so since i left that and got all strung out i never allowed myself the time to process the past so that i don't keep getting defensive or angry and turn an argument into the eruption of mount Vesuvius. so that is some of why i process things the way i do and really part of this is being aware that this is going on, to actually say ok i am feeling angry and to ask myself why is almost impossible to do but that is what this handout she gave me for homework is about, and really being conscious of everything i am doing and making an effort to be in the moment. i guess with practice this is supposed to help so i try to practice being in the moment during the good times then it will get easier to be in the moment during the arguments. drop me a line i can scan this handout in and email it to ya and maybe try to explain more, we see her again tonight and i have some questions about the handout for her.
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