I hate it when we fight like that.
We are still tiptoeing around one another. And the hurtful things that he said are still there.
Of course I love him and Of course he is sorry.
I am trying to work on how I react to things and instead of flying off the handle and screaming and yelling, acting like an adult instead. Speaking in a calmer tone and not acting like a lunatic.
It is not all him, but it is not all me either.
I don't want my kids to have parents that are divorced. I went through that, my Mom married 3 men when I was growing up.
I also know from reading my bible that my background does not determine my destiny.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
I have issues, he is perfect
Okay I was hoping for a relaxing weekend.
I think someone is out to get me for real.
My husband woke up bitching yesterday.
He says he is the most pleasant person to be around.
So. Not. True.
Well, I told him we are all sick of him waking up an bitching.
He lays in bed til' noon and then gets pissy if we are cooking something and don't come ask him if he is hungry.
Hell, he was in bed.
We thought he was asleep!
So we got into it and he proceeded to tell me how he is sick of me running my mouth and how I always try to put him in his place.
What ever.
Later on, I was doing some homework and he said, "Oh this house is DIRTY. Sara needs to clean it tomorrow."
Which pissed me off!
I got up this morning, was in the kitchen cooking breakfast and here he comes.
Hubs: Oh, those pork chops are not ready yet, let them get brown before you flip them over.
Me: Mmmhmmm
I cooked and then left his stuff on the counter.
Sara went and told him his food was ready.
After we all ate, I said, "We ALL are cleaning today, that includes the kids, me and YOU hubs."
(I got a crazy look)
I told him, "Hey you can make the bed while Sara works on her room and I do the livingroom and kitchen."
So Sara, TC and I are working away and I realize the heat is on.
WTF?
So I turn the heat off. We are sweating bullets!
Here comes Hubs cranking the heat up.
Hubs: Who keeps turning the heat off?
Me: I do! It is hot as hell in here.
Hubs: Well, I am trying to warm it up so I can take a shower.
I go into the bedroom and realize he never made the bed, he never did anything!
He took a shit for 30 minutes and then he decided to shower.
I was fucking pissed.
I went in the bathroom and told him that I am pretty sick and tired of him making his little shitty comments but never ever ever helping me out around here.
And it is not Sara's job to clean the house when 4 of us live here, hell I already get up at 4:30 every morning! WTF??
He gets out of the shower PISSED OFF. He starts screaming at me and then he punches the closet door. Which REALLY pissed me off.
I hit him in his chest and told him he is not tearing my house up.
That Mother fucker.
I was mad!
He says he is sick of my mouth and how I make his life hell and he doesn't want to live this way and he is leaving.
So I told him to go ahead and pack his shit but he needs to take a little bit of responsibility for his actions and choices.
Yes, I can be an asshole.
But my God!
He works 3 or 4 days a week, if he is not sick (He missed 2 days last week). And then he comes home and lays his ass in the bed and shits and eats and wants to fuck.
And in the meantime, I am running around here cleaning, cooking, laundrying, taking care of kids, going to school, working on WORK from home.
Come on!!
Who wouldn't get sick of it??
I told him that if he is so miserable to leave but he needs to think real long and hard because if he leaves, the door will not be open whenever he feels like he wants to come back.
He has 2 kids who he will see on the weekend and I will be the one raising them full time.
So if I suck so bad, maybe he should leave. But stop threatening me that you are leaving.
Think about it Mister.
And he said that he doesn't have any problems, it is me and my big mouth. And if I would learn to keep it shut, everything would be dandy.
Oh, sure, I am the ONLY one in this marriage who takes ownership of their issues.
I suggested counseling and he said that the man up above can fix any and all of our problems.
I told him ,"Do you not think I pray everyday? I pray for God to give me strength to be the best Mom and wife I can be. But he cannot fix someone who does not think they have any faults."
I am so glad he is perfect and I am the one who is fucked up.
I think someone is out to get me for real.
My husband woke up bitching yesterday.
He says he is the most pleasant person to be around.
So. Not. True.
Well, I told him we are all sick of him waking up an bitching.
He lays in bed til' noon and then gets pissy if we are cooking something and don't come ask him if he is hungry.
Hell, he was in bed.
We thought he was asleep!
So we got into it and he proceeded to tell me how he is sick of me running my mouth and how I always try to put him in his place.
What ever.
Later on, I was doing some homework and he said, "Oh this house is DIRTY. Sara needs to clean it tomorrow."
Which pissed me off!
I got up this morning, was in the kitchen cooking breakfast and here he comes.
Hubs: Oh, those pork chops are not ready yet, let them get brown before you flip them over.
Me: Mmmhmmm
I cooked and then left his stuff on the counter.
Sara went and told him his food was ready.
After we all ate, I said, "We ALL are cleaning today, that includes the kids, me and YOU hubs."
(I got a crazy look)
I told him, "Hey you can make the bed while Sara works on her room and I do the livingroom and kitchen."
So Sara, TC and I are working away and I realize the heat is on.
WTF?
So I turn the heat off. We are sweating bullets!
Here comes Hubs cranking the heat up.
Hubs: Who keeps turning the heat off?
Me: I do! It is hot as hell in here.
Hubs: Well, I am trying to warm it up so I can take a shower.
I go into the bedroom and realize he never made the bed, he never did anything!
He took a shit for 30 minutes and then he decided to shower.
I was fucking pissed.
I went in the bathroom and told him that I am pretty sick and tired of him making his little shitty comments but never ever ever helping me out around here.
And it is not Sara's job to clean the house when 4 of us live here, hell I already get up at 4:30 every morning! WTF??
He gets out of the shower PISSED OFF. He starts screaming at me and then he punches the closet door. Which REALLY pissed me off.
I hit him in his chest and told him he is not tearing my house up.
That Mother fucker.
I was mad!
He says he is sick of my mouth and how I make his life hell and he doesn't want to live this way and he is leaving.
So I told him to go ahead and pack his shit but he needs to take a little bit of responsibility for his actions and choices.
Yes, I can be an asshole.
But my God!
He works 3 or 4 days a week, if he is not sick (He missed 2 days last week). And then he comes home and lays his ass in the bed and shits and eats and wants to fuck.
And in the meantime, I am running around here cleaning, cooking, laundrying, taking care of kids, going to school, working on WORK from home.
Come on!!
Who wouldn't get sick of it??
I told him that if he is so miserable to leave but he needs to think real long and hard because if he leaves, the door will not be open whenever he feels like he wants to come back.
He has 2 kids who he will see on the weekend and I will be the one raising them full time.
So if I suck so bad, maybe he should leave. But stop threatening me that you are leaving.
Think about it Mister.
And he said that he doesn't have any problems, it is me and my big mouth. And if I would learn to keep it shut, everything would be dandy.
Oh, sure, I am the ONLY one in this marriage who takes ownership of their issues.
I suggested counseling and he said that the man up above can fix any and all of our problems.
I told him ,"Do you not think I pray everyday? I pray for God to give me strength to be the best Mom and wife I can be. But he cannot fix someone who does not think they have any faults."
I am so glad he is perfect and I am the one who is fucked up.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
F Bomb, be prepared!
So I took Sara to the dr. yesterday. I will blog about it in my Living in Tx blog.
But oh. my. god.
I was already having a bad morning this morning.
I am tired as hell first of all.
I have been 1/2 way sick all week with my ears.
TC fell last week and hurt his knee.
Sara fainted this week.
Hubs came home with food poisoning yesterday.
REALLY?
Can something else happen to send me over the edge?
Oh, yes it can!
Because I have a teen.
Who leaves her purse laying around and this morning she tells me she can't find her money.
And she needs money for lunch because she has another field trip today.
(I had $4 in my purse so that is what she got)
But I was MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD.
Me:"Where is the $10 you had?"
Sara: I don't know
Me: What do you mean you don't know
Sara: Well, it WAS in my purse now I can't find it
Me: What the hell, Sara?
Sara: Well, I might have put it in my jewelry box
Me: FUCK
Sara: Well, I'm not sure if I put it there
Me: Did you leave your purse unattended again?
Sara: No
Sara: Well.............. I did yesterday, I left it in the classroom
Me: WTF?
And yes, I was cursing a lot.
I am about to have to pay $80 for a MP3 player that she took to school (not hers, my niece's) and she left it in her purse at dance and now it is GONE
So, last year someone stole her phone
This year it has been money TWICE and an MP3 player
Holy fucking shit
Are you kidding me?
So, we went back home and the money IS NOT in her jewelry box.
Hubby was in bed sick and I told him that I wanted to whoop her ass.
For real.
And not STOP whooping her ass.
But I didn't, I took her to school and then I drove to work and cried the whole way.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
But oh. my. god.
I was already having a bad morning this morning.
I am tired as hell first of all.
I have been 1/2 way sick all week with my ears.
TC fell last week and hurt his knee.
Sara fainted this week.
Hubs came home with food poisoning yesterday.
REALLY?
Can something else happen to send me over the edge?
Oh, yes it can!
Because I have a teen.
Who leaves her purse laying around and this morning she tells me she can't find her money.
And she needs money for lunch because she has another field trip today.
(I had $4 in my purse so that is what she got)
But I was MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD.
Me:"Where is the $10 you had?"
Sara: I don't know
Me: What do you mean you don't know
Sara: Well, it WAS in my purse now I can't find it
Me: What the hell, Sara?
Sara: Well, I might have put it in my jewelry box
Me: FUCK
Sara: Well, I'm not sure if I put it there
Me: Did you leave your purse unattended again?
Sara: No
Sara: Well.............. I did yesterday, I left it in the classroom
Me: WTF?
And yes, I was cursing a lot.
I am about to have to pay $80 for a MP3 player that she took to school (not hers, my niece's) and she left it in her purse at dance and now it is GONE
So, last year someone stole her phone
This year it has been money TWICE and an MP3 player
Holy fucking shit
Are you kidding me?
So, we went back home and the money IS NOT in her jewelry box.
Hubby was in bed sick and I told him that I wanted to whoop her ass.
For real.
And not STOP whooping her ass.
But I didn't, I took her to school and then I drove to work and cried the whole way.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Bad blogger
Everytime I get a post together in my head, I never come on here and post it.
I am getting ready for Christmas....are you ready?
I am taking tomorrow off because my ear is killing me and TC did something to his leg at school and he is limping but has progressively gotten better this weekend.
Not a lot is going on otherwise.
Guess I'd better hit the sack!
I am getting ready for Christmas....are you ready?
I am taking tomorrow off because my ear is killing me and TC did something to his leg at school and he is limping but has progressively gotten better this weekend.
Not a lot is going on otherwise.
Guess I'd better hit the sack!
Sunday, November 22, 2009
STRESS
Wow, it has been quite a week at work. Customers have been crazy because they all want free products and they want us to make them over and over again.
This is the time of year when the moochbags come out.
UGH.
Pray for me. I might lose my mind.
I am working our online site from home a lot.
Which is good because I need the money.
I am considering cutting off my home phone and getting my internet thru Dish.
It may save me around $50 a month and I need to save where I can.
After I paid bills and got groceries this week, I had $6 left in my checking account.
It is kind of depressing!
I have started taking a stand and doing some things on my own and I now tell my husband if he doesn't like it he can just get the hell over it.
But that I am not fighting with him over decisions I make and he should try to support me more instead of trying to sabotage my plans all the time. Because I love him but it is not all about him 24/7.
I think he is in shock!
This is the time of year when the moochbags come out.
UGH.
Pray for me. I might lose my mind.
I am working our online site from home a lot.
Which is good because I need the money.
I am considering cutting off my home phone and getting my internet thru Dish.
It may save me around $50 a month and I need to save where I can.
After I paid bills and got groceries this week, I had $6 left in my checking account.
It is kind of depressing!
I have started taking a stand and doing some things on my own and I now tell my husband if he doesn't like it he can just get the hell over it.
But that I am not fighting with him over decisions I make and he should try to support me more instead of trying to sabotage my plans all the time. Because I love him but it is not all about him 24/7.
I think he is in shock!
Monday, November 16, 2009
Party and stuff
Well, the kids birthday party went well.
My mother in law called as I was trying to get things ready and she wanted to know what time the party started.
Hubs had already told her because I was sitting there when he did.
Me: I know Tony told you the party starts at 11:30
MIL: He said noon
Me: No I was right there, he told you 11:30, besides you need to ask me, I plan all of the parties!
MIL: Well, the hay man is here and I can't get there by 11:30
Me: Alright then. I'll see you when you get here.
Stupid heifer.
Then, we got the party started! Had chili dogs, cake, ice cream. Opened gifts.
And my Husband went outside and missed the gift opening.
And then wanted to bitch at me for "not coming to find him."
I told him I was putting a birthday party on and that it wasn't my fault he went outside.
Dumb ass.
After the party, we opened Christmas with my Mom.
And Sara got birthday money and she wanted to go shopping.
I was tooooo exhausted for shopping so I offered to take my nephew Jr. and TC to Mcdonalds' to play while my Mom, sis, and niece went shopping.
Well, needless to say, they were gone for HOURS and by the time we got back from McD's, TC was so tired and had began acting out in a BAD way. Jr. was not a problem, it was TC. So I called my Mom and asked were they almost done?? She said they had gone to Dallas.
I was not happy.
When they finally came home, I told my sister that she should have told me they were going all the way to Dallas.
She got mad and left in a huff.
Later on Facebook, she messaged me and said that she spent so much on gas by driving to Dallas. And how Sara didn't want to pay for her food, so my Mom did.
I didn't even feed into her b.s. and if my Mom wanted to buy Sara's food, big freaking deal!! How is that my sister's business at all?
And if she didn't want to go to Dallas, she should not have gone. Give me a fucking break.
Other than that b.s., everything else was good!
My mother in law called as I was trying to get things ready and she wanted to know what time the party started.
Hubs had already told her because I was sitting there when he did.
Me: I know Tony told you the party starts at 11:30
MIL: He said noon
Me: No I was right there, he told you 11:30, besides you need to ask me, I plan all of the parties!
MIL: Well, the hay man is here and I can't get there by 11:30
Me: Alright then. I'll see you when you get here.
Stupid heifer.
Then, we got the party started! Had chili dogs, cake, ice cream. Opened gifts.
And my Husband went outside and missed the gift opening.
And then wanted to bitch at me for "not coming to find him."
I told him I was putting a birthday party on and that it wasn't my fault he went outside.
Dumb ass.
After the party, we opened Christmas with my Mom.
And Sara got birthday money and she wanted to go shopping.
I was tooooo exhausted for shopping so I offered to take my nephew Jr. and TC to Mcdonalds' to play while my Mom, sis, and niece went shopping.
Well, needless to say, they were gone for HOURS and by the time we got back from McD's, TC was so tired and had began acting out in a BAD way. Jr. was not a problem, it was TC. So I called my Mom and asked were they almost done?? She said they had gone to Dallas.
I was not happy.
When they finally came home, I told my sister that she should have told me they were going all the way to Dallas.
She got mad and left in a huff.
Later on Facebook, she messaged me and said that she spent so much on gas by driving to Dallas. And how Sara didn't want to pay for her food, so my Mom did.
I didn't even feed into her b.s. and if my Mom wanted to buy Sara's food, big freaking deal!! How is that my sister's business at all?
And if she didn't want to go to Dallas, she should not have gone. Give me a fucking break.
Other than that b.s., everything else was good!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Emotional
Yesterday I called Hubs as I left work to make sure he got gas for the lawnmower. I told him I wanted to mow but could he cook dinner?
He sort of balked and I asked Sara to cook and she said she didn't feel like it.
So it pissed me off.
And I began to fuss and fuss and fuss some more.
Turns out Hubs wanted to mow, but his back is giving him fits this week and I don't want him to mow and upset his back issues even more!
I went straight in the door and put my mowing clothes on and went outside to mow. I didn't say a word to anybody.
I was so pissed.
I started to mow and I ended up getting stuck in the mud.
Which pissed me off even more.
My neighbor eventually drove up and he helped me get unstuck. Because Hubs and the rest of the family were inside, and since we have 4 acres I was on the far side and nobody saw me.
After I mowed for about an hour, I went inside to take a shower, still emotional and still a little pissed.
Hubs came into the bathroom and asked me what was my problem and I told him, "I am just PMS'ing" and can you please just leave me alone?
After he took a shower, he came into the room and was kissing me and then I just broke down crying.
UGH.
PMS SUCKS ASS.
He sort of balked and I asked Sara to cook and she said she didn't feel like it.
So it pissed me off.
And I began to fuss and fuss and fuss some more.
Turns out Hubs wanted to mow, but his back is giving him fits this week and I don't want him to mow and upset his back issues even more!
I went straight in the door and put my mowing clothes on and went outside to mow. I didn't say a word to anybody.
I was so pissed.
I started to mow and I ended up getting stuck in the mud.
Which pissed me off even more.
My neighbor eventually drove up and he helped me get unstuck. Because Hubs and the rest of the family were inside, and since we have 4 acres I was on the far side and nobody saw me.
After I mowed for about an hour, I went inside to take a shower, still emotional and still a little pissed.
Hubs came into the bathroom and asked me what was my problem and I told him, "I am just PMS'ing" and can you please just leave me alone?
After he took a shower, he came into the room and was kissing me and then I just broke down crying.
UGH.
PMS SUCKS ASS.
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