Just UGH

If you read my other blog, you know about the drama with my mother. She called me the other night. She was talking about my older sister, GINGER and saying how she has not changed.

Well, DUH.

We talked for a little while and it was a little strange. We are not close like we used to be. Too much hurt has been inflicted. I protect myself now.

This morning TC was acting an ass, screaming for a certain BAKUGAN and I found it. Then he wanted his BAKUGAN cards and I found them, except he has 2 of one kind and he wanted BOTH of them...which I could not find. I was already running late. I didn't have enough patience for his antics.

We got in the car and he wanted his jacket. I said no which led to a meltdown. I finally got the damn jacket. I came back ENRAGED. I said, "TC why are you making my life a living hell?? Why do you ALWAYS do this?? I am so sick of it!!!"

My niece was with me and she was probably floored at my behavior.

To tell the truth, now that I think about it, I am very ashamed of how I acted. But GOD why can't we ever have a smooth morning without the fits, tantrums, and unnecessary drama??

I am so OVER autism. I wish I had a gun, I would shoot it. Or cut it's balls off.