For those of you who are confused, you can read about my mom in my other blog. My Mom is something else....we didn't talk for several months because she is such a gossiper and she goes back and forth between us siblings and starts shit constantly.
My Mom has been married 5 times. My Bio. Dad was crazy and he and my Mom divorced when I was 4. She remarried to a man and was with him for about 10 years when he finally went crazy, he was a heroin addict. Her 3rd husband was a severe alcoholic who put us through hell. He couldn't stay in one place which resulted in us being homeless and going to an all (ONE RACE) school in South Dallas, we lived in a shelter and walked to the bus stop by blood banks, and many other dangerous places. For some reason, even after all my Mom put me through, I moved to Oklahoma to help her after I graduated-I had 2 baby brothers after all and I was the only one of us older kids who wasn't married. (Didn't live with her my senior year because she didn't want to stay in TX so I had to stay with a friend in order to graduate!)
My oldest brother Dean and my Mom had a falling out last year and he cut all ties with her until recently. Now he is talking to her a lot and telling her all of his personal issues. She talks about him, me, my sister, my other sister, and my other two brothers. She is such a backstabber and I have told her she is one. That is why we have the issues we have.
My Mom is clearly dysfunctional and she hates the fact that ANY of us kids are able to take care of our families without depending on her.
I want nothing from her. All I ever wanted was for her to love and support me. Apparently she can't do that so I limit my contact with her.
She has my 42 year old sister living with her. My sister, Ginger, is evil...straight up. She adopted a kid who is now 6 years old even though she kicked both of her older kids out when they were only 13. She is sorry....a very sorry individual. The epitome of laziness and just an awful person.
I am close to her son,Joseph, who is in prison. She hates me for that. Now she is worming her way into his life and he is allowing it. Shame on him. She beat him daily for years and years. She called the cops on him and got him arrested. That is why I am hurt, I feel betrayed in a way.
I had custody of him when he was 17 because he was in foster care and hated it. But he refused to listen to any rules ( I let him stay out as long as he called me and let me know where he would be, and he didn't do that so after several warnings, he had to go!) The whole time he lived with me, Ginger would call and screw with his mind. She is the devil's spawn. I swear she is.
As for my brother Dean, he is a recovering alcoholic and we have been so close this last year. But recently he has started lying and I have caught him in several lies. I have supported him through so much, including visiting him while he was in jail TWICE. He moved in with me and Hubs for awhile too. I took him to work when he had no way to get there.
And I feel like this is how I get repaid for being there for the convicts in my life. I get repaid by them lying to me. I know my Mom tells me things about my nephew to hurt me because she knows how much I care for him. So I take the things she has said with a grain of salt, but as for my brother, he has lied to my face and I am very pissed about that!
I am just tired. That is why I don't deal with my Mom, she takes such joy in hurting others.She puts on her dress, and hat, and goes to church on Sunday but she spews hate all week long.
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I am learning that some people judge you for being real..that is why only a select few will be told about this blog!
2 comments:
Being a member of a dysfunctional family is so hard, Kristi, it can definitely wear you out. When people have BIG problems of their own, the drama does tend to pull in everyone and play them against each other. This happens with my big sister too. For that reason I had to make a decision to remove her from my life, my younger sister has since followed suit. Not because we wanted to, but because she caused too much hurt and too many problems. My life is much more stable and happy without her constantly stirring things up. Sometimes it's better to create your own support system and keep a little distance from blood relatives. That's why I live 1000 miles from mine! :-) Try not to be too hard on your nephew it is natural for kids to want their parent's affection and approval, even parents who abuse them. I've seen it time and time again.
Although it's hard, just do not talk to your mom anymore. You don't need all the hurt and anger and drama in your life. It took me years to realize my mother never loved me and I think it's because she doesn't know HOW to love. I haven't talked to her months, didn't even call for mother's day.
Having said that, remeber how you feel about your mother, wanting her love and acceptance? That's what your nephew wnats, no matter HOW his mother treated him. It's not to hurt you in anyway, it's just human nature. He'll learn one day that she is not capable of love, just like YOUR mother, and hopefully he'll be done with her. In the mean time, don't take it personal. Just be there for him when he needs you, but do NOT let anyone take advantage of you. You are a far better person than any of them. Yes, they are family, but that doesn't mean you HAVE to love them or like them, and it doesn't mean you HAVE to have anything to do with them.
I haven't talked to my younger sister in two years. I love her. I always will, but it's not worth the drama, lies, and judging she does to everyone to be part of her life anymore.
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