Blog address

You can find me here.

Update

I have thought about closing this blog down. Things are going good for me now. I am looking for a job, still staying on track with eating right and exercising daily. I try not to get discouraged since many of my friends have had gastric and are losing weight like crazy. I know it is a journey I want to take to do this on my own.

I feel I have always been a good person, nice looking, with a good personality. But it is nice to know I am getting healthier and not because I have had surgery, but because I have worked so very hard to change everything about my life. My friend who has had surgery has had to change everything about how she eats too so she is going through a lot of the same things I am. The only difference is she has lost almost 50 pounds and I have lost 1/2 that amount. It can be disconcerting at times. I know I will get there, it will just take time.

In the meantime I am glad the kids are about to start school and I am really trying to find a job. I am ready to go back to work!

Defended

Recently I posted a Facebook status about my in laws never seeing my kids. My hubby's sister called me selfish and said that it is our fault my m.i.l. does not see the kids. Really, this girl has no clue!!!

What bugs me is I have never ever said anything to Hubby's sister about the way she lives or the things she does but she has the nerve to call me selfish. She does not even know me!

N E ways, hubby called her and I was in the tub when he was talking to her. He told her she does not have a clue how our kids have been treated, she is only hearing his Mom's side. He told her I am his partner, his wife and I deserve to be treated with respect.

I was very happy he stood up for me. I am still pissed at my sister in law but that's okay, only the people who are really here for me matter in my life!

Asshole

I had a great idea to go out to breakfast this morning and to an early movie. Well, breakfast turned into a tear fest for me. My husband felt I embarrassed him because he pointed out where he wanted to sit and I told him we had to wait to be seated. He said I was talking too lound and people were looking at him and that all I want to do is control everything and everybody.
I sat at the table before we ordered our food and I felt tears come into my eyes so I went to the bathroom.

I came back and my daughter was telling her Dad that he needed to stop being mean. Well, this pissed him off and he continued to talk about how I embarrassed him. We ordered and I ate my food in silence once it came to the table.

I was mortified.
I wanted to literally crawl underneath the table.
I was so mad I wanted to punch him in his fucking face.
For real!

We finished eating and drove to the movie place where we had to wait over 30 minutes for the movie to start. Hubs and I didn't speak the whole time.
Fucker.
I was still mad.

We went in to see Toy Story 3 and I sat by him even though I didn't want to. He whispered he was sorry but I was still not very happy.

Well, when we got home, he was all kissy kissy. I said I needed to go get gas and pick up a few things from the store. He said he would drive me.
So we went and then when we got home, he thought everything was good and that he might get some ass.
I don't think so!!

When I went on my evening walk, I was thinking about what happened this morning and it made me angry all over again! After I took a bath, I came into our room and told him how he made me feel and that I was not trying to embarrass him but he really really embarrassed me!

I am not mad anymore but I told him that next time I will leave before I get treated that way.
No, screw that, I told him I will never go out to breakfast with him ever again as long as I live!

Monster with no sleep

Ugh. My husband is not happy to be the only one getting up early. Now that I am off work I sleep a little later. I used to get up with him but now I am like, NO WAY!
The only bad thing is all of our bedrooms are on the same hallway and hubs is a light sleeper. So every little sound wakes him up and then he is pissy.
NOT FUN.

Sometimes the kids are not so careful when using the hallway bathroom and they shut the door a little too hard. Hubs gets woken up and does not go back to sleep for an hour or more and he has to wake up at 5:30 am. And we all hear about it when he gets home from work.

And he says that I am the one who can't go without sleep...whatever!

Another post where I complain

I want to bitch some more, okay????

1.My teen
Why does my teen fuss when I ask her to put up HER clothes that I folded and wipe down HER bathroom counter?? Seriously! She should have been me growing up when I had to do shit for hours and hours because my mom was a neat freak...ugh.

2. Facebook. Why are certain people such assholes on Facebook?? One girl who is a friend on FB made a comment about people changing their profile pic and fishing for compliments. Well, I like changing my pic and what the fuck is she so upset about?? Now I don't know if she directed this at me but it COULD have been directed at me but you know what I say, GET OVER IT ASSHOLE!

3. My husband
This man gripes that he never sleeps. So yesterday when he got off work, he went to sleep. So I didn't disturb him and tried to keep the kids quiet. He slept about 4 hours! When he woke up he commenced to bitching and bitching and bitching. Because he slept through his favorite show.
Are you fucking kidding me?? What would you rather do, sleep or watch tv??
SERIOUSLY.

Okay I am done!!

Things I hate

I hate mowing and being all itchy afterwards.

I hate disrespectful people, it is not all about you ASSHOLE!!

I hate it when people make comments about fat people. I am fat but I am trying to lose weight.

I hate it when people make judgments. I used to be one of those people, but I lost my job of 15 years and I had to get help with my kids' insurance. I have never asked for help, but I have never NOT worked either. I figure I have paid in for long enough so if I need a little help now, that is what it's for!!

I hate pimples. For some reason I am getting them a lot now ..WHAT THE HELL???

I hate when people feel others owe them something.

I hate being lied to.
I hate being avoided when I have done nothing wrong.

I hate being hurt.

What do you hate??

Plans

I have been mowing the last couple of days and my allergies are kicking it! My eyes are literally sore from all the leakage. Gross, huh??? I love to mow and think. I was missing my Grandpa today a lot. I wish my kids had Grandparents that gave a shit about them. Hubs Mom is always too "busy" to see them, and my Mom lives 5 hours away. My mom and I have gotten a lot closer lately and she does not bring the drama and gossip because I don't want to hear it!

We are visiting her in a few weeks but we are waiting because they are getting tornadoes galore right now! Next week hubs is off Thursday, Friday and the following Monday. I will probably take the kids to see Shrek on Tuesday or Wednesday.

What are your summer plans??

What's going on

Oh I haven't posted here in so long!! Well, I had finals last week and that was fun...not! But I am down to my last two classes..woot!!!

I started the 30 day shred yesterday. I did it again today. Oh yeah, it is good. I think I am going to like it and I have lost 10 pounds so far but have many many more to lose. I am feeling sexier and hubby is reaping the benefits!!!

I am watching a movie on Netflix about the Holocaust. So sad. I am crying.

Mothers day for my Mom

My hubby came home yesterday and helped me mow. Woot!!!!

We mowed for 2 hours and I got about 2 acres knocked out.

Now I won't have to kill myself mowing today.

I need to mail my mom her Mother's Day ring.

My sister, brother and I went in on her a Mother's ring.

It took awhile to get it made but it really turned out beautiful.

I think she will like it. It sort of looks like the pic above, but my Mom had 7 babies, 6 of us lived.

What is most important

Oh no, not preggers. I got my tubes tied when TC was born. Best decision I ever made!!!! I never did like the baby phase, my kids did not sleep. It was difficult to work after being up several times thru the night. I wonder how I made it most days!!!
I have never been one of those women who saw a baby and said, "Oh I want one!" Especially after having TC. TC was not a bad baby at all, but I have always been one who tries to have everything perfect. Perfect house, everything cleaned all the time. It is not doable if you are working and have 2 kids.
And I have learned that life is very short and we have to sometimes overlook a dirty house and just have fun. Our kids will remember going to the park, special times, and not that the house was dirty!

Hubby and I have had a lot of talks and both of us decided that we want to love each other and not fight and since I am home, I AM a lot more relaxed. I don't feel so stressed out trying to rip and run and get shit done!!

Good Lord

I have been Attacking my husband (sexually) lately. I think it is my hormones. Every time before I start my period, I want sex! This afternoon I was watching "Dog the Bounty Hunter" where they arrested a young boy. It was his first time being in trouble and he failed to appear in court.
Made me think of my nephew and my brothers. And I started crying.

Another side effect of those crazy ass hormones!!

Gettin' some

My husband is shocked at me and says I am turning into a sex fiend. I have initiated twice this week. Usually it is the other way around!!!

Maybe it is because I have more energy since being home. Maybe my hormones are in an uproar. I am not hearing any complaints from him though!!!!

Sara is upset because she thinks we have to have a weekend itinerary EVERY weekend. Well, yesterday I took her shopping for a little while. Then I got pizza. But today has been a "stay at home day" and an "eat whatever you can find day." Also she gave me a hard time because she has been with TC all day while I napped and spent some time with Hubs.
I am ready to take her to school tomorrow!!!

New stuff

Oh, Hubs wanted a tractor in order to mow/move dirt, etc... Unfortunately the tractor he wanted is over $6000 if it is in good shape. We only had $2000 to spend.

So we ended up getting just another riding lawnmower. It is really fancy, has cruise control, a gas gauge, and a little compartment to hold personal items. It is a 50" deck Cub Cadet mower. Pretty SWEET. I have attached a photo.

I had lunch with my sister yesterday. Today I mowed for 2 hours. Then I came in and did homework and laundry. Tomorrow I am supposed to meet a previous coworker for lunch. Thursday my other friend and I are going to see..."Why Did I get Married Too" and Friday I am meeting two other coworkers for lunch.
Busy week!!!

I am lovin' it.


Hubs and I got into another "discussion" over his wanting a tractor. I am so fucking sick of hearing about tractors that I could scream. We have one riding lawnmower but will probably buy another one because we have 4 1/2 acres. A tractor that he wants is over $3000 so that is sooooo not happening. So that is why we got into an argument.......... ummm discussion.

Ch Ch Ch Changes

I have been painting a lot this week. I did Sara's room and the hallway, the door to the master bedroom, one wall in the livingroom and I am sore!!! The good news is that I have lost 7 pounds so far. I mostly eat high protein and lots and lots of salads. I have had some emotional days because I am not used to being home so much. I miss my coworkers. Isn't that crazy??? Well, I have worked my whole life so this being home is taking some getting used to. But so far, I am staying busy!!!!

Good so far

Well, we have actually had a really good weekend. I may mow a little today if my allergies calm down! TC is drawing, hubs is fooling with the fishing stuff, and Sara is on the home computer. Hopefully today will continue to be good. I need to have positive things going on!!

Irritated

Today did not start off well. I woke up at 4 a.m. cramping like a mother dog. I took something but decided to stay up and watch tv. Woke the hubs up at 5:30 and he was having muscle spasms in his back...but he won't take his muscle relaxers. WTF?

He said he needs to really stay home for a few months and recuperate but now that I am not working he can't just take off without pay. I mean what the hell am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to pay the bills ?
I was crying and he called me and we talked.
I was feeling better about things and I went to get some paint to touch up some walls that have scuffs, marks, etc on them here at the house.

I got an e mail from TC's teacher saying he called her a bitch so I decided to pick him up instead of having him ride the bus home. I picked up Sara too and took them to McDonald's. I talked to TC about not saying bad words at school.

Then I came home and showed hubs the paint. He flipped out!
He was mad because I wanted to paint! I bought the same color we already have on the walls so I am not sure what his problem was...but he said something like, "You don't even know how to paint!"
I was thinking "Did I not paint at our old house?"

Well, I was upset, naturally. I had already stressed out all day and I didn't think the paint was a big deal, I didn't buy crazy colors, just the antique white that we already have on the walls.
I came in TC's room and sat on the bed.
Hubs eventually found me and he said, "What brought this on? When did you decide to paint?"

I told him that I am going to paint when he and the kids are at school so what was his problem with that??? This went on for awhile and eventually he said that he feels the things I do HE should be doing but he can't because of his back. I told him I enjoy doing things around here and I understand his back is bad but he needs to get off my case.


I am going to make some independent decisions from time to time and as long as they are not detrimental to our lives, he needs to just deal with it. I told him his communication skills suck and he really needs to work on them because our marriage is suffering because of his ego!

I have reconnected with some old friends and I am enjoying myself and for once things are starting to be about me!!

Oh no she di-n't

I was talking to a friend today. She is lucky enough to stay home with her baby. Her baby will be a year old next month. She made a comment about how lucky she is to be able to stay home and raise her baby and how fortunate she is that someone else is not raising her kid.
Well, this pissed me off.
See, I have always worked. Both of my babies went to daycare.
I felt, rather than be on welfare, I wanted to work and provide for my family.
We have never been well off enough for me to stay home.
That is just my reality.
I told her that I don't feel I missed out on too much and besides what choice did I have?
I had to work to provide a good life for my kids and to have good insurance.
I said I get tired of the stay at home moms judging the working moms and vice versa.
We are all Mom's doing the best we can do!

Good Easter

We had a good Easter. Yesterday we went to the inlaws. And today I went to my friend's Mom's house where the kids got to hunt eggs again...or TC did, Sara is a little too old! My husband did not want to go but was sort of acting an ass this morning and I told him that I am grown, do nothing wrong, and if I want to go to my friend's I will go.

I guess he got over it because when I got home, he was cooking and doing dishes.

So, how was your Easter??